


Endgame

by TheLawyersKeeper



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Kidnapping, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Modern Bucky Barnes, Musician Bucky Barnes, Older steve rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Revenge, Secret Agent Steve Rogers, Slow Build, Smut, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-10 21:57:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 30,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15958343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLawyersKeeper/pseuds/TheLawyersKeeper
Summary: Steve and Bucky have been dating for four years and there's nothing they don't know about each other. But there's always more than meets the eye and Bucky has no idea what he's in for.Or,The AU where Bucky is a musician and Steve is a Secret Agent and an old case comes back to haunt him in the worst way possible, causing him to have to choose. The whole world, or his world?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I won't lie, this has been in my head forever! My mom loves the Bourne/Bond/M.I. movie series so this has been rolling around in my brain forever and I'm finally as a point where I can put it on paper (ish).
> 
> My updates will be sporadic as I am in school full time now but I am loving this already and will probably finish way sooner than I intended.

“Did you hear Tony’s wife left him?” Special Agent Steve Rogers looked up from his desk in shock as his coordinator, Natasha, sat down at the desk across from him and nodded solemnly.

“Yepp, she thought he was having an affair, all those business trips and late nights at the office, surprised it didn’t happen sooner actually” Steve looked at the picture of he and his boyfriend of four years, Bucky Barnes, on his desk and sighed heavily. It was hard pretending and lying to the person you love.

 

Steve had met Bucky at a coffee shop in Brooklyn four years ago and had been over the moon for him ever since. He was bubbly and bright and was always enthusiastic for anything. At five years Steve’s junior, he was the perfect balance to Steve’s quieter approach to life outside of work. James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes was a piano instructor and musician, the best in Brooklyn. He taught yoga part time and dedicated almost all of his time off to the local Community Centre providing support for LGBT youth. It had taken Steve almost two years to convince Bucky to move in with him and when he’d finally said yes, Steve wasn’t embarrassed to admit that he had absolutely cried. There was one very prominent problem though, which overclouded almost every aspect of Steve’s day.

 

Outside of his name and birthday, everything Bucky knew about Steve was a lie. This killed Steve, especially when he’d been looking at engagement rings for the last six months. He’d promised himself that he’d finish out the year with the Agency, then get the job repeatedly offered to him as the New York Director of the FBI. Hopefully Bucky wouldn’t mind moving to Manhattan, and once he did, he was putting a ring on that man’s finger. Steve sighed and leaned back in his office chair as Natasha passed him the file.

“where to next?” she gave him a rueful smile and tied her long red hair back into a ponytail.

“Dubai”

* * *

 

“Hello?” Steve dragged his exhausted body into their elaborate brownstone, which he’d let Bucky redecorate. It was quiet, but Steve knew his lover was awake. Sure enough as he walked into the den he could see the younger man at the desk behind the couch, looking over finances for the Community Centre. The evening news was on mute, highlighting the assassination of the Arab dictator. Steve pointedly ignored the news and walked over to him, draping his arms around the brunette who was humming along to Frank Sinatra which played through the condo’s surround sound speakers. Bucky jumped minutely and Steve grinned, kissing his temple. “Hey handsome” Bucky grinned and kissed him gently, bringing his right arm up to hold Steve’s bicep behind him.

“Hey baby, you’re home early” Steve felt an ache in his chest at the words. It was almost ten o’clock at night and Bucky thought he was a financial analyst. Ten o’clock should be stupidly late, not early. Steve tightened his hold and closed his eyes

“Did you get that file leak stopped?” Steve felt nauseous at lying to Bucky, especially since he believed it so readily and willingly, never second-guessing or doubting him.

“Airtight, now, personally I think _that_ can wait,” he pried Bucky’s pen from his hand and set it on the desk, kissing down his neck and that one spot behind his ear that he knew undid his partner every time “because _this_ can’t” he tugged playfully at Bucky’s shirt and he giggled breathlessly.

“Okay, if you insist” Steve grinned devilishly as Bucky got to work on his pale blue dress shirt, steering him to the couch.

“Oh, couch huh? Too lazy to get upstairs mister Barnes?” Bucky smirked and he lay down, pulling Steve to rest between his legs as they kissed languidly, hips undulating against one another slowly.

“Says mister _this can’t wait_ really, I'm thinking of you here” Steve moaned and slid his hand into the top of his boyfriend’s lounge pants, rubbing his palm against the hot, hard shaft that greeted him. Bucky moaned and his eyes fluttered closed, legs falling open in invitation to more attention. Steve leaned down and ran the tip of his tongue over Bucky’s lips as the thinner man panted against them.

“You’re so considerate, I should return the favour” Steve crawled down Bucky’s body until he was eye level with his cock. Bucky groaned helplessly as Steve licked a long hot stripe up the underside. Bucky jolted and grabbed his hair.

“Please, please n-no teasing, it’s been t-too long” Steve felt his libido take a small hit and swallowed. They lived together, it shouldn’t be _too long_ since the last time he fucked the person he loved, _too long_ since the last time they’d made love like every other normal couple in the world. “Steve?” Steve looked up to see bright slate eyes looking down at him, the haze of lust giving way to hesitation and concern. Steve smiled reassuringly and stroked his thigh as he moved back up his body. He made sure to kiss the small scar on Bucky’s collarbone. It was their thing now, since Steve had found out that he’d gotten it from his abusive ex-boyfriend and his beer bottle. Steve had to make sure that the one physical mark left over from someone who’d only said he’d loved Bucky, was completely lavished by the person who _actually_ loved Bucky. He stroked the soft hair and looked down at the soft face.

“Okay baby, no teasing” Bucky smiled and framed Steve’s face in his hands as they kissed passionately, Steve reaching over and turning off the TV as Bucky tugged his slacks down, smiling into another kiss…

* * *

 

Steve watched gently as his lover slept, lips swollen and hair mussed as he lay against the white sheets. They’d given Steve a few days off while Natasha did paperwork, he deserved it after killing that dictator. He gently ran his hands through his hair and propped himself on his arm, watching him slowly stir. Bucky smiled in his sleep as his eyes opened and he looked at Steve sleepily.

“Hey…”

“Morning beautiful, how’d you sleep?” Bucky smiled brightly, still sleep soft and warm as he rolled into Steve’s arms, Steve chuckling at the younger man’s antics. Bucky buried his face into Steve’s broad chest and smiled.

“Better than I usually do, always sleep better when you’re here” Steve smiled and rubbed his nose in Bucky’s hair.

“I got a few days off, we should do something” Bucky’s eyes lit up and he sat up on his knees.

“Really!? Oh my god, can we go somewhere!?” Steve barked out a laugh and nodded.

“Yeah babe, where should we go, I’ve got the week off” Bucky bit his lip and sent a sideways glance at the small pamphlet for San Francisco but continued to think of something else. Steve caught his gaze and smirked

“what about San Fran?” Bucky’s head jerked up and his eyes went wide as saucers

“Really?” Steve nodded and smiled gently

“Yeah, it’s what, a six hour flight, gives us like four days to explore” Bucky beamed and threw his arms around Steve’s neck.

“I love you!” Steve smiled and rolled Bucky under him, pressing kisses down his neck as Bucky wrapped his arms and legs around him. Steve pulled back and nuzzled their noses together as he moved himself against his lover, his own erection dragging slowly against Bucky’s and making him moan lowly.

“Love you too Buck”…


	2. Chapter 2

_“We have now arrived at San Francisco International Airport, thank you for choosing Virgin Airlines”_ Bucky squeezed his hand and wiggled in his seat as he looked out the window at the bright skyline of San Francisco. Steve brought their joined hands to his lips and kissed his knuckles softly.

Bucky was a ball of energy the whole way out of the plane and down to the baggage claim. He kept squeezing Steve’s hand and looking around in excitement, his curly hair falling into his face. Steve grabbed their shared bag and wrapped an arm around his waist, kissing the side of his head as they walked out to where the taxis where. Bucky suddenly froze and gaped at him.

“Fuck! Steve, we didn’t book a hotel!” Steve raised an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side.

“Really? You really think I’d book us a flight to California for a week and not get us accommodations” Bucky smirked and pressed a kiss to his lips as a taxi rolled up.

“You’re amazing, I’ll split the hotel bill with you okay?” Steve shook his head as he playfully pushed Bucky into the cab and handed the address to the driver.

“My treat, you can get the cab. We haven’t had a week to ourselves since you moved in, this is on me baby doll” Bucky quirked his eyebrow and rested his hand on Steve’s knee, gazing out the window as downtown San Francisco came into view.

“I’m gunna have to put out for this, I can feel it” Steve snorted and Bucky let out a jovial laugh as the cabby cruised on.

* * *

 

Steve left Bucky gaping in the lobby as he walked up to the front desk of the Fairmont San Francisco. Steve smirked as he walked up to the front desk as Bucky trailed, head whipping back and forth as he took everything in.

“Hi there, reservation for Rogers, the Tony Bennet Suite” Bucky made a gurgling noise as he stared at is boyfriend. The receptionist handed over the cards and smiled.

“Welcome to the Fairmont Mr. Rogers, the Tony Bennet suite is located on the 22nd floor of the tower building, the third elevator on the left hand side has swipe access. Have a wonderful stay” Steve murmured a thank you and gently grabbed Bucky’s hand.

“C’mon babe, let’s go get freshened up then grab some dinner yeah” Bucky nodded and followed him to the elevator.

“Jesus Christ Stevie, people are gunna think you’re my sugar daddy” Steve swiped to the floor and pulled the man in by the hips, ghosting his lips over his and watching Bucky’s eyes flutter closed.

“Oh? Should I cancel, get us an AirBnB instead?” he caught Bucky’s bottom lip between his and Bucky moaned.

“Naw, nope this is fine” the elevator dinged and Bucky gasped as he rushed through the suite. Steve smiled and set the suitcase down by the couch, looking over as Bucky ducked around the corner.

“Steve! They have a _piano_ Steve!” Steve grinned and flopped onto the bed, kicking his shoes off and leaning against the headboard as he watched Bucky explore. His eyes softened as he watched him and he felt the pressure in his chest loosen.

Bucky had always wanted to travel, but growing up in the poor end of Brooklyn had kept that from ever being possible. Through his piano he had been able to travel to DC and Chicago in high school, but California had always been his dream. When his parents had kicked him out after learning he was gay, he had planned on running away to Castro, but the foster care system had gotten to him first.

That was how he’d met his first and only boyfriend before Steve, Brock Rumlow. Bucky didn’t talk about him much, but Steve knew he was a drunk and that in many ways Steve should be lucky he got to meet Bucky at all. Bucky’d retreated into this love of San Francisco, where he could be who he was and be loved the way he deserved. One night when they were drunk Bucky’d confessed that he believed that San Fran would give him three things, a safe place to be gay, someone to fall in love with, and a gorgeous tan. He’d managed two out of three in Brooklyn. Steve had made sure to be extra devoting when they’d made love that night. If Brock Rumlow had ended up arrested on long standing charges two days later, well, that was purely coincidence.

Steve raised an eyebrow as Bucky finally stopped and turned to look at him.

“You’re amazing” Steve grinned and watched as Bucky kicked off his own shoes, moving to straddle his waist, running his hands through Steve’s dark blonde hair. Steve rested his hands on Bucky’s hips, rubbing circles in the skin of his hipbones with his thumbs. Bucky leaned down for a kiss and pulled away. Steve gazed up at him and smiled.

“So this is okay?” Bucky nodded and slid down Steve’s body and began undoing his jeans. Steve felt his heart rate pick up and he gently tangled a hand in Bucky’s hair.

“T-thought we were going for dinner?” Bucky feathered light kisses over Steve’s cock and sucked the tip gently, causing Steve to jerk.

“We will, but I’m hungry for something else right now” Bucky locked eyes with the other man, relaxing his throat and swallowing him down. Steve dropped his head back to look at the ceiling and spread his legs.

“Y-yeah, fuck, whatever you want baby, shit…” Bucky hummed along his member and Steve gripped the sheets, this wasn’t going to take long.

* * *

 

“Romanov, my office” Natasha sent a confused look over at Clint who shrugged as she walked into the Agency’s Director’s office.

“Director Fury, is there a problem” Senior Director Nicholas Fury looked a Natasha with steely eyes.

“You bet your ass there is, look who just broke out of ADX Florence” Natasha looked at the screen and felt her heart stop. Staring back at her was the single most dangerous terrorist Steve had ever put away.

Alexander Pierce.

The two looked at each other and Natasha spoke first.

“We gotta warn Steve”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's brief mentions of hate groups here so please proceed with caution, also there is smut here.

Steve continued to glance through Bucky’s list of things he wanted to do. They obviously couldn’t do all of them, but since a few of them were all in the same neighbourhood he was sure he could make most of it work, he reclined back in the chair and looked out at the San Francisco skyline. Bucky exited the bathroom and looked at him with bright eyes.

“So? Anything there interest you?” Steve smirked and looked at him as he settled himself at the piano and nodded

“All of it” Bucky laughed and began to gently play some chords, keeping his fingers soft on the keys as an unfamiliar jazz tune danced through the suite. Steve watched him play for a few moments and murmured.

“That new?” Bucky nodded, lips curling up at the edges over the fact Steve had noticed the new piece.

“Haven’t finished it yet, still working out the harmony” Steve got up and shuffled over to sit on the edge of the bench, back to the keys and watching him play.

“It’s beautiful” Bucky blushed and smiled up at him, pausing in his playing as he looked up at him.

“Thank you” Bucky gently grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss. When he pulled away he was grinning.

“Wearing anything under that housecoat Rogers?” Steve snickered and pulled him back in for another kiss.

“Wouldn’t you like to know” Bucky snorted and nipped at him playfully.

“S’why I asked” they laughed and Steve tapped his hip.

“C’mon, we need to eat, you can’t tell me you’re not hungry, especially after _that_ ” Bucky gave a shit eating grin but he blushed almost as red as his hickeys.

“I’m no-“ his stomach growled loudly and they both laughed, Bucky reluctantly getting off the bench and heading over to their suitcase, black boxers hugging in all the right places. Steve shrugged off the housecoat as he reached for his clothes, wrapping an arm around Bucky’s hip as he did so.

_Buzz buzz_

Steve furrowed his brows in confusion, he’d made it very clear he wasn’t to be disturbed this week. Bucky glanced over at Steve’s phone on the desk and looked at him hesitantly.

“I thought you left your work phone at home?” the tone was light, but Steve knew he was on thin ice. They’d been walking out the door when he’d finally built up enough nerve to ask Steve to leave the phone at home, and Steve had only been too happy to comply. He pressed a kiss to Bucky’s temple, projecting a fake indifference as he walked up to the phone.

“I did, s’probably just a wrong number, everyone knows we’re away”

_Buzz buzz_

He picked up the cell phone and felt his heart hammer in his chest, he’d know that number anywhere. Bucky shrugged his black v-neck over his head and wrung his hands together, watching Steve stare down at the screen.

“Hello?”

_“Pierce escaped”_

Steve felt his world grind to a halt as Bucky looked at him, bright eyes filling with concern.

“Pardon?” Natasha sighed heavily into the phone and Steve could hear her clicking her pen, her nervous habit.

_“He’s out, and he’s looking for you. We need to bring you in, and your boyfriend. We can get him relocated-”_

Relocated, he’d have to bring Bucky in, explain everything about who he was, what he did, The Agency. And just when Bucky would think the worst was over, that the lies couldn’t possibly be any worse. They’d force him to lie, to run off somewhere and be a new person, to never see, speak or think of Steve ever again. But he’d be safe, they’d probably drop him somewhere random and off the beaten track, like Romania or Moldova. Bucky took Russian in high school, it’d be enough to get by, he’d be alright-

“Steve? Is everything okay?” Steve looked over at the hesitant voice and felt his breath catch in his throat. Bucky was just out of arm’s reach, arms curled around his abdomen as he looked at Steve in concern. His shoulders were already slumping in preparation for the inevitable ‘we have to leave’. And Steve realized he couldn’t do it, he couldn’t cut Bucky’s dream short for a nightmare. He wouldn’t ruin the city that gave him so much hope, especially knowing that he’d probably never get to come back. Steve was selfish, besides, he could keep Bucky safe for the week. Pierce was in Colorado, even with his connections it would take him a solid month to fully locate Steve and be in a position where he could move about to actually take any action. He had time, _they_ had time. Steve gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile and gently reached out for him, Bucky took the offered hand and smiled tenderly as Steve tucked him under his arm.

“Well, I’m on vacation, as you know, and will not be in the office until Tuesday, we can handle it then”

_“No Steve!”_

“Bye Nat” he clicked the phone of and threw it into the suitcase. Bucky grinned and looked up at him. Steve kissed him gently and grabbed his jeans.

“Just let me put some pants on here, what did you have in mind for dinner?” Bucky shrugged

“There’s a sushi place not far form here, we just take the Montgomery trolly. Wanna try that?” Steve grabbed his wallet and pulled open the door, tucking his hand in the back pocket of Bucky’s jeans and giving a playful squeeze, causing the younger man to squeak.

“Sounds good doll, let’s boogie” Bucky laughed and the two stepped into the elevator.

* * *

 

Alexander Pierce was a man in his late sixties with a thirst for power and an insatiable bloodlust. His organization, HYDRA, was the largest domestic terrorist organization in America, rivaled only by the Klan. He’d managed to infiltrate almost every layer of government and had been ready for the biggest extermination the world had ever seen.

Until Agent Steven Rogers showed up.

Barreling in with his blonde hair and Freedom, he single-handedly managed to ruin decades worth of work. But that was fine. He had his own connections.

Contrary to what Agent Rogers wanted to believe, Pierce didn’t spend the last eight years just sitting in his supermax cell. He’d orchestrated the perfect plan and the only piece missing was Rogers.

Steve knew where the virus was, the best way to spread it, and just how quickly in developed. He’d get Rogers, get the virus, then make The Agency’s top spy watch as America burned to the ground, before putting a bullet in the man’s head himself. He relaxed in his chair as his bodyguard came in the room, handing him a glass of whiskey. He pulled up Rogers’ service photo and handed it to him.

“Hey Crossbones, ever seen this guy?” Brock Rumlow glanced down at the picture and furrowed his brows.

“No, can’t say I have. Why?” Pierce grinned at the stupidity of the ex-con. He had no clue.

“He’s the guy we’re going after. Special Agent Steven Grant Rogers”

* * *

 

Steve pushed Bucky against the hotel door, slamming it shut and kissing him passionately, Bucky pressed back harder, sliding Steve’s shirt over his head, shoving him back onto the bed and crawling on top of him before rolling over, letting his boyfriend climb on top of him. Steve pressed Bucky onto the bed, never breaking the kiss. When he finally needed air, he pulled back, kissing back down Bucky's jaw, moving his way down towards his waistband. He quickly unfastened the button, pulling both jeans and boxers down at the same time.

“Steve,” Bucky moaned as Steve hovered over his erection. Steve took his lover into his mouth, sucking. He stopped just as he felt Bucky tense and stood up. Bucky groaned, one hand reaching down to wrap around himself. Steve smacked his hand away, quickly pulling off his own pants before crawling back up to straddle Bucky.

“Are you ready?” he panted, looking down at the glazed expression on Bucky’s face, between the alcohol, the heavy petting at the club and not being able to actually have time together in so long, Steve was sure this week might kill them based entirely off of excessive cardio. “I am going to fuck you so hard you won't even remember your own name.” Bucky groaned and rubbed their weeping cocks together. Steve inhaled sharply and Bucky looked at him

“Just do it.”

“On your hands and knees,” he ordered gently, moving off Bucky so the other man could get up. Bucky knelt in the middle of the bed, resting on his elbows so his ass was in the air as Steve knelt behind him, spitting into his hand and stroking himself a couple of times before lining up with Bucky's entrance. He drove into the younger man, earning another groan. Bucky threw his head back and cried out

"Steve!" he gripped the sheets and buried his face in a pillow "oh yeah, yeah baby, fuck it hurts so good". He knew it hurt, but he also knew Bucky liked it rough like that, that he needed it rough. He knew what Bucky needed, he always did.

"Fuck, touch me, Steve please just touch me" his cries brought his mind back to the present and Steve reached around Bucky, taking the other man in his hand, jerking him off to the same pace he was thrusting.

"You like that? fucking you hard and fast, on your knees?" Bucky groaned and arched his back down, moving back against his boyfriend.

“Y-yeah, yeah baby, I like it so much" he reached a hand up as Steve grabbed his hair, jerking his head back and slamming wildly into him. Bucky screamed again

"Yeah, that's it baby, scream, fuck, you're so tight, so hot, I'm gunna fill you up-"

"Oh yeah, c'mon baby, please, fuck" Bucky clung to the bed sheets, pressing his forehead to the bed as Steve drilled into him over and over again. It’d been so long since they’d fucked like this, hard, rough, dirty. Every nerve in his body was on fire and he was loving every second of it.

"Feel good? you won't be able to sit, and when I'm done with you you're gunna be so full of my cum it's gunna drip down these gorgeous legs of yours" Bucky bit his lip and snapped his hips back

"C'mon baby, I want it, god Steve just fuck me harder, you're so big, it's so good, so fucking good" Steve knocked Bucky onto his stomach, bracing his arms on either side of Bucky's body as he was fucked brutally into the mattress. Steve mouthed his neck and shoulders, breathing heavily in his ear. Bucky turned his head to the side, Steve pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek - contradicting everything else about the evening. Bucky felt one of Steve's hands curl around his and he smiled. Steve was no bastard, no matter how hard he tried he'd never be able to totally drill Bucky and they both knew it. Bucky wouldn’t change it for the world.

They came at almost the same time, both of them collapsing forward onto the bed. They lay there for a while, regaining their breath before Steve pulled out of Bucky and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. Bucky rolled into his embrace and propped himself on his arms, kissing his cheek. Steve chuckled and pulled him down to his chest, kissing his hair.

“You good?” Bucky hummed the affirmative and nestled himself into Steve’s side, closing his eyes and smiling

“Very” He felt Steve laugh through his nose as he rubbed his back, pressing a kiss to the top of Bucky’s head

“So tomorrow?”

“Pier 39 and Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz too if we have time” Bucky wiggled in excitement and draped an arm across Steve’s abs.

“Night Stevie, I love you”

“Love you too Buck” He continued to stare up at the ceiling as Bucky’s breathing evened out. Pierce was free. He wanted Steve dead, and the fallout was going to be catastrophic…


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF THE ACT OF SUICIDE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE BE ADVISED THIS CHAPTER HAS A CONVERSATION ABOUT THE ACT OF SUICIDE. IF THIS IS SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT OKAY WITH, JUST SKIP THE CHAPTER YOU WILL BE TOTALLY FINE WITHOUT READING IT.
> 
> I LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH

Bucky’d lit up like the fourth of July in San Francisco, tossing money at every busker he saw, offering to take pictures for families and being completely unfazed when he was almost run over by cyclists on multiple occasions for abruptly stopping to take something in. Steve was positive he had never been in so many photos in his life.

And he was living for it.

They’d gotten up early to catch the first tour to Alcatraz, Bucky excited but still holding him tightly. Terrified of the water. Steve wrapped his arms around him from behind and encased him between himself and the rails as the island got closer and closer. Bucky’s body thrumming with excitement.

“Never pegged you for an Alcatraz person?” Bucky tapped the bars with his fingers and tossed him a look over his shoulder.

“It’s cool, it has a lot of history in it and also it’s probably haunted. Besides, you love this kind of stuff. The kind that’s accurate anyway, I thought this would be fun for both of us. We just need to cover our noses in the rec yard, the bird shit is awful apparently” Steve felt his heart swell at the knowledge that Bucky had thought of him too, picking stuff that he thought Steve would enjoy as well. He squeezed him lethargically and rested his chin on his shoulder, kissing his temple.

“So I was thinking after this we’d grab lunch at the Waterfront Restaurant and do the Pier?” Bucky nodded excitedly and turned into his arms, wrapping his arms around his neck as they looked at one another.

“Sounds good, I wanna try a lobster roll, I hear they’re amazing” Steve smiled and pressed a gentle kiss between his eyes.

“Excuse me?” the two men looked as the young girl walked up, holding her camera nervously.

“Hi” Bucky smiled brightly, counteracting Steve’s analyzing gaze, if he wasn’t wary before, that phone call from Natasha had changed everything. The girl smiled in relief at Bucky’s positive tone and extended her camera.

“I uh, I hope you don’t mind, but I’m in school for photography and I couldn’t help but snap a picture of you two, it’s really pretty” she handed her camera to Bucky who held it up for the two of them and Steve’s heart melted.

The early morning sun was still fairly low in the sky, illuminating the two into silhouettes, their noses were brushed together and arms wrapped around one another, Bucky stepping into the embrace.

“Wow…” Bucky was catching his breath, gaping down at the photo, drowning in the sheer amount of love in the photo and Steve turned to the girl.

“What’s your name?”

“Julie”

“Hi Julie, I’m Steve and this is my boyfriend James-“

“Can we get a copy of this!?” Steve looked down at Bucky’s wide eyes and she smiled brightly

“Really!?” Steve nodded and handed the photo back to her

“Yeah, you’re very talented, we’d love to have a copy” her face lit up and she nodded

“If you want, I could email it to you when I get home? I’m actually from Dallas so it might be a few weeks” Steve punched his email into her phone and smiled

“That’s okay, we’re from Brooklyn” Julie beamed and waved at them

“Thanks guys! It was nice meeting you! Enjoy your holiday” the two smiled as she ran back over to her group of friends and Bucky giggled.

“We’re basically supermodels” Steve barked out a laugh and followed him back inside as the ferry docked.

“Oh yeah, total heartthrobs”…

 

Steve had loved Alcatraz, Bucky was right it was right up his history buff alley. The Waterfront restaurant was delicious and the pier was everything it was advertised to be. Bucky’d swooned when Steve translated for a French family looking for the aquarium and had fallen in love with the sea lions, taking way too many pictures of them. They were walking along the Golden Gate Bridge, looking out at the water when the little phone on the side caught their eyes. It was surprisingly quiet, the pedestrian walk usually filled with tourists.

“What’s that?” Steve had barely asked the question when Bucky went rigid next to him. The phone was bright yellow, a blue sign above it reading:

CRISIS COUNCELLING

THERE IS HOPE. MAKE THE CALL.

“It’s a suicide hotline” Bucky curled into Steve’s side a little more as he looked at it, eyes welling with tears. Steve gently pulled him off to the side, resting his hip on the guardrail as he hugged him.

“S’okay baby” Bucky wiped at his eyes and laughed self-deprecatingly.

“Look at me, crying over a fucking phone” Steve wiped a tear from under the slate eyes and smiled.

“It’s not about the phone, it’s about why it’s there” he nodded and cleared his throat.

“S’just awful, I mean – it’s good they have them. But the reason why they need them. S’just hard” Steve kissed his forehead and hugged him tightly. He looked out at the water and coughed.

“I mean, why doesn’t Brooklyn have these?” Steve cocked his head to the side, watching the gears in Bucky’s head turn.

“I’m gunna call Chevette when we get home, see if it’s something the Community Centre could present, it could help-“

“Sounds amazing baby” Bucky smiled and wiped his eyes again, coughing a laugh and shaking his head.

“Okay, okay, no more sad, let’s go take stupid pictures then grab dinner” Steve softened as Bucky laced their fingers together, pointedly ignoring the phones as he led Steve along the walkway.

* * *

 

“Sir?” Alexander looked up from where he was watching the strippers. It felt so good to be back in New York. He looked over at his assistant, Jasper Sitwell and smirked.

“What is it Sitwell, can’t you see I’m in the middle of something” Sitwell nodded nervously and slowly approached him.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt you sir, it’s just, we’ve found Agent Roger’s address sir, it’s in Brooklyn” Alexander grinned and stood.

“Perfect, let’s go say hello” he snapped his fingers and the girls stopped. His other cronies came up next to him as a large black car pulled up to the curb. Pierce was positively shaking in excitement, his eyes bright in anticipation of seeing his enemy face to face again.

* * *

 

Steve moaned low in his throat and pressed his cheek into the mattress as Bucky continued to move above him.

“Shit Steve, you’re so tight” Steve flinched and let out a hiss.

“Keep going, feels amazing” Bucky laughed and climbed off him, grabbing more Arnica oil

“Seriously though baby, have you considered a chiropractor or something? You hold so much stress in your shoulders” Bucky climbed back onto the agent and began working the knot in his shoulder again. The bright San Francisco night coming through the floor to ceiling windows. Steve smiled and grunted as the knot finally came loose.

“Why pay for treatment when I have you?” Bucky dug in extra hard and Steve yelped, rolling over and knocking Bucky onto the bed, his laugh ringing through the room. The two lay down and just looked at each other before Steve quietly broke the silence.

“So, tomorrow is our last day” Bucky groaned and pulled the pillow over his head, the comical outburst doing nothing to hide the sudden deflation of his body and Steve hated himself for ruining the mood.

“Let’s just stay here, live in Tony Bennet’s suite and eat lobster rolls” Steve laughed and pulled the pillow from his face, making sure to lock eyes with him as he brushed his hair back.

“If I could do that baby, you know I would” Bucky quirked one side of his lip up and rolled to face him.

“I wanna go to Castro tomorrow” Steve smiled and accepted the subject change, running his thumb over Bucky’s knuckles.

“Spend the day there. I got us a dinner reservation though, gotta wear something nice” Bucky smiled and nodded. The two lay quietly for a minute and Bucky suddenly perked up, avoiding the impending sadness like a plague.

“So like, that bathtub is huge, and we haven’t used it yet, so we should do that tonight, order in, get a movie?” Steve grinned as Bucky hopped off the bed, rushing to the bathroom and turning on the water.

“None of those spy movies!”

“But the new Mission Impossible-“ Steve rushed him, wrapping his arms around his waist and throwing him over his shoulder as he laughed loudly.

“Don’t care Buck, not happening” he pinched Bucky’s cheek as they undressed each other, Steve settling into the bath and Bucky coming between his legs, resting his back to his chest.

“Wanda said The Justice League was good” Steve pressed kisses to his shoulder as they settled into the hot water.

“For five dollars, I’ll risk it” Bucky grinned and settled against him, grabbing the loofah and body wash.

* * *

 

“What do you mean he’s not here!?” Pierce roared as the rest of his _strike team_ looked at him hesitantly. He wished he’d brought Rumlow, he’d sort these imbeciles out. One of the men looked at him hesitantly.

“Fridge is empty boss, maybe he’s on vacation?” Pierce stormed into the brownstone and glanced over, a sick smile spreading across his face when he saw the picture on the entrance table.

There was Agent Rogers. He was dressed in a white dress shirt and dark jeans as he stood in front of a large piano. That wasn’t what had him smiling though, it was the bright-eyed brunette on his arm, dressed in a dark purple shirt and black slacks who was smiling brightly at the camera. Agent Rogers was staring at him, pure adoration radiating from his eyes, seemingly unaware of the photo being snapped.

“He must be on vacation. Let’s let him know we were here. Don’t take anything though, and close and lock the door when your done” he snatched the frame off the table and tucked it into his inside pocket.

“Except this, it’ll come in handy I think” he laughed as the crashing noise echoed through the house, casually closing the door behind him and returning to his car.

“Come along Jasper, we have work to do. I need you to find out everything you can on this man”…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Diplomat Tony Bennett Suite is the room they have: https://www.fairmont.com/san-francisco/accommodations/one-of-a-kind-suites/
> 
> This is the Waterfront Restaurant: http://www.waterfrontsf.com/
> 
> These are the phones on the Golden Gate Bridge, and to my knowledge the Brooklyn Bridge still doesn't have any at this time: http://www.ggbsuicidebarrier.org/faq.php


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you can't tell, San Francisco is one of my favourite cities in the world. I visited in 2013 and have longed to return ever since, so I'm vicariously living through them!

“Oh my god, just try it!” Steve took a bite of the chocolate chip cookie and his eyes bulged.

“Oh my god”

“Right!?” Bucky ate another one and moaned rushing back to _Hot Cookie_

“We need to take a box home” Steve nodded in immediate agreement and followed him back into the bakery, the man at the counter laughing good-naturedly at the two men as Bucky caught a glimpse of the penis cookies.

“We’re getting Wanda a box and sending it to her office. Pay back for suggesting Justice League” Steve nodded emphatically and pointed at the white ones.

“Make sure she gets the one with the rainbow pubes” Bucky cackled and the two set up the boxes, shipping the one to Wanda and taking the other to pack for home…

* * *

 

Bucky stared at the stage with his jaw on the floor. The Spanish Baroque architecture taking his breath away alongside the old piano. There wasn’t a show time, so they’d opted to come in and tour the theatre and Bucky was not disappointed. Steve came up behind him and glanced at the stage.

“Hey, you should go play” Bucky lurched away

“Absolutely not! Do you see where we are!? I’d get in _so_ much trouble!” Steve took a few steps back and looked around the theatre holding his arms out as he spun around.

“Bucky, there’s _no one_ here, c’mon babe, when are you going to get a chance at playing at _The Castro_ again?” Bucky bit his lip and glanced back at the piano, Steve could see how badly he wanted to.

“Go on baby, play the new one” Steve dropped himself into one of the seats as Bucky slowly stepped up onto the stage, glancing around nervously. Steve kept his eyes open as well, ready to run interference should someone approach them. Bucky stared out at the house and felt his breath catch in his throat, it was beautiful. He sat down, took a deep breath and gently touched his fingers to the keys…

 

Steve was breathless, he loved watching Bucky play, but this, this was an experience all it’s own. Bucky’s body swayed with his music, his dream coming to life in front of his eyes as he continued through the piece. He even repeated several bars just to extend the thrill. When he finally finished and looked out at the audience of one. Steve was giving him a standing ovation, grinning ear to ear as Bucky stood up, unaware that Steve had snapped pictures and recorded the whole thing.

“Wait! You have to bow!” Bucky laughed and shuffled back to the stage, bowing shyly and Steve cheered. He hopped off the stage and advanced on his boyfriend.

“See you were amazing and noth-“ Bucky grabbed his face and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. Steve rested his hands on his hips and kissed him back gently, smiling against his lips. Bucky pulled back and gazed up at him before leaning back up to kiss him again.

“Wanna spend my life with you” he murmured and Steve inhaled sharply, tightening his hold as he kissed him back gently.

“Love you so much baby doll”

* * *

 

Steve watched across the table as Bucky took in his surroundings, his brown hair was slicked back and he was in a black dress shirt and black jeans. Steve tangled their legs together and gently took Bucky’s hand in his.

“Oh my God, Steve this is amazing” Steve grinned and nodded to the waiter as he approached them.

“Afternoon gentlemen, may I interest you in our wine list?” Bucky took the book and looked at him with mischievous eyes

“Do you trust me?”

“As long as it’s not from Chile” Bucky nodded and pointed at a bottle

“We’ll get this one please” the waiter nodded and scurried away. Bucky brought his hand back and held his again.

“Did you have a good week?” Steve nodded and squeezed his hand tightly.

“Yeah baby, I really did. I needed this week with you” Bucky’s eyes shone and he nodded

“Me too” Steve bit his lip and cleared his throat.

“So, uh, I was thinking…” Bucky cocked his head to the side and nodded encouragingly.

“I’ve been offered a job in Manhattan, wouldn’t start it until next year, but it’s more of a 9 to 5 kinda deal, and I’m _really_ thinking I’ll take it. We’d have to move though because the commute would be insane and I’d have housing provided at first until we found something a little more for us-“ Bucky tightened his grip almost painfully and stared him down.

“Steven, are you asking me to move to Manhattan with you?” Steve blushed, he was a secret agent for God’s Sake, this should be easy.

“Yeah Buck, I know that you’d lose some of your students, and probably your classes but-“

“I get to see more of you though right?” Steve softened and nodded.

“Yeah baby, I’d be home every night by seven at absolute latest and I have weekends off” he watched his lover swallow thickly and the excitement began dancing in his eyes.

“Then yes, fuck, of course I’ll move to Manhattan with you!” Steve beamed and pulled him in for a kiss as the waiter returned with their meals and wine…

* * *

 

“His name is James Buchanan Barnes, friends call him Bucky. He’s twenty-six, born and raised here in Brooklyn and teaches piano and yoga. Apparently he’s also very active in the community for LGBT youth and is a very popular jazz musician on the bar and lounge scene”

Pierce looked at the picture of the young man and nodded at Sitwell.

“Good job, hey Crossbones, come here a sec!” Brock entered the den and dropped the beer bottle his was holding when he saw his ex-boyfriend on the screen.

“What the fuck is that little shit doing up there!?” Pierce feigned surprise and smirked

“Oh, you know him?” Brock charged at the screen, pointing aggressively at the photo

“That little slut dumped me, just packed up and left while I was at work, changed his number, moved, everything. Bastard made a complete fool out of me!” Pierce smirked and thumbed through his file.

“Well it may interest you to know that he’s dating Agent Rogers, and has been for four years” Brock whipped his head around angrily

“You’re joking?” Pierce shook his head.

“Nope, and we need him, so get your groveling pants on, you have an impression to make”…

* * *

 

Steve staggered up the steps to the brownstone, exhaustion dripping from his body as he followed Bucky up the stairs. He forgot how much he hated red-eyes. Bucky scuffled for his keys then looked over at him as he turned the lock, box of cookies in hand.

“Hey, did Julie send you that picture ye-“ Bucky stepped into the apartment and gasped, box dropping to the floor. Steve immediately yanked him backwards and placed himself between Bucky and the door.

“Steve-“

“Wait here!” Steve pushed the door open and froze, the place was absolute carnage. The couch cushions were torn apart, stuffing poured all over the floor. Dishes and glassware shattered. Nothing was salvageable.

“Steve…” Bucky gently grabbed the back of Steve’s shirt and Steve allowed himself a second to be grateful for the man in his life. Bucky was trembling, absolutely terrified. But he wasn’t about to let Steve go in alone. They checked room after room, each one destroyed but-

“Nothing’s missing” Bucky came back out into the living room where Steve was on the phone with the NYPD, holding their very intact safe in his hands. He furrowed his brows as he began doing an inventory of the house. Bucky was right, everything was accounted for.

No. Something was missing.

Steve rushed back to the main entrance and his heart dropped to his shoes.

The picture of him and Bucky from his performance at the Velvet, it was gone. He pulled his cell phone out again and made another call.

_“Romanov”_

“He was here, and he knows about Bucky” there was a pregnant pause on the other end of the line.

_“Shit”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who don't drink (or don't drink wine) Chilean wine is notoriously dry and often bitter so I'm not a fan, as a result, Bucky and Steve are not fans either. I personally prefer a white Riesling from Australia or Germany <3
> 
>  
> 
> This is Hot Cookie, aka my favourite cookie shop in the world: https://hotcookiebakery.com/
> 
> This is the restaurant Steve takes Bucky to (it's v swanky): http://garydanko.com/


	6. Chapter 6

 “Thanks again for letting us stay here, we really appreciate it” Maria scoffed at them as she loaded the last of her bags into the taxi.

“Don’t even worry about it. Saves me money on a house-sitter” Steve set down his bag and glanced in the trunk.

“How long are you gone again?” Maria beamed and jumped up and down excitedly

“Three months! Can you believe it!? They offered me a job running the communications for the Temple tours for the summer. Oh Bucky, you’ll have to come visit – of course you too Steve – but Bucky you _have_ to, we can do yoga and visit the temples, and they have sunrise hikes…” Bucky’s eyes lit up and Steve made a mental note to lock Bali down for a honeymoon destination as the brunette nodded enthusiastically.

“Sounds like a dream Maria-“ the taxi honked and she jumped

“Okay, okay I gotta go! Be safe, I love you both!” the two hugged tightly and she squeezed Steve’s hand before running out to the cab, waving as it pulled away.

“Her life is so exciting” Steve snickered as they set up the guest bedroom, their home until the brownstone was repaired.

“I’m content with a quiet, boring one thank you” Bucky sat cross-legged on the bed as Steve unpacked their clothes. Bucky stuck his tongue out playfully.

“Oh! Did I tell you Wanda got her cookies?” Steve burst out laughing and pressed his cheek against his boyfriend’s as he lifted up his phone, revealing a picture of Wanda deep throating a penis cookie. The captain reading _taste the rainbow_.

“I see why your such good friends with her” Bucky’s giggle was cut short as Steve’s phone buzzed.

“Hey Nat, yeah I’ll be there in five” Bucky deflated and watched as Steve scrambled for his suitcase.

“Where you going?” Steve swallowed down the guilt

“Um, Natasha needs me to look at some files, should be home around eight” Bucky nodded and Steve pressed a kiss to the side of his head, he was halfway out the door when a voice stopped him in his tracks

“Is she pretty?” Steve turned and looked at him. His arms were crossed protectively over himself and he was shifting his weight as he resolutely did not look at Steve. Apparently the question was just as hard to ask as it was to hear. Steve sighed and set the briefcase down, slowly advancing on the younger man and wrapping his arms around him.

“She’s nothing compared to you baby doll” he continued to press soft kisses along his face and hair as little by little the tension dissipated from his body.

“I love you, I’ll get home as soon as I can okay?” Bucky nodded and gave him a sad smile as he left, turning back to the apartment.

* * *

 

“They’re currently staying in Red Hook in the apartment of a Maria Hill, she’s got a Masters in communications and is currently on her way to start a three month contact in Bali for the tourism industry” Pierce nodded and gestured for Rumlow to pick up.

“Assuming his schedule is the same, Monday, Wednesday and Fridays he teaches yoga in Brooklyn Bridge Park or at the community centre on 32nd in the winter. Tuesdays and Thursdays he teaches piano – normally out of his home but he’s probably temporarily relocated to the Community Centre and weekends he’s usually volunteering or playing shows” Pierce tapped his chin and looked around the room.

“Let’s give him three weeks, Crossbones, you tail him, make sure we know his schedule inside out and backwards. Sitwell, you sent our little note yes?” the mousy man nodded and Pierce grinned

“Yes sir, it should’ve been received about an hour ago” Pierce sipped his whiskey and grinned.

“Excellent. Good work gentlemen, let’s see how this all unfolds”

Rumlow chuckled and took a swig of his beer. Even Sitwell risked a smile as they sat in a comfortable silence.

“It’s current name for study is VR12” Steve looked at Natasha and stared at the email.

“And we can’t trace this, at all?” She shook her head and Sharon sighed heavily

“We’ve run every trace, ever test, every hack we could think of. The encription is ironclad” Steve looked at his boss and Nick had the decency to look ashamed.

“So, what exactly is VR12?”…

* * *

 

“It’s the worst super virus currently on record” Lab Director Dr. Bruce Banner pulled his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“The idea was to develop an over the counter medicine that could combat all illnesses, it would cut down on the need for big business pharmaceutical companies and medical devices. If you could eradicate it with a ten dollar bottle at the drugstore, you could stop many sicknesses before they developed into something worse.

The only issue was that we had to actually combined the genetic makeup of several of these diseases in order to ensure the drug could actually cover them all.-“

Tony sighed and leaned against the wall, Steve glancing at the now divorced technician in sympathy

“But we fucked up, we spliced the viruses to cut out overlapping symptoms, for example, we kept the cough from Whooping Cough and cut out the one you get with a cold because the other is more powerful. What we couldn’t prepare for was the fact that the cells would all bind together in the absence of their regular makeup-“

“So you’re saying that the worst aspect for each illness currently known was all combined into one?” the staff nodded and Steve scrubbed his face over his hands

“Oh my God, we created a WMD?” Nick sighed and Bruce continued hesitantly.

“It’s called the THANOS effect, within an hour of its release, half of the United Sates could be infected” Steve groaned low in his throat and sat back in the chair

“So essentially, this thing could wipe out half the planet?” Bruce nodded and Tony stepped up.

“The virus itself only has a 72 hour life expectancy, so if it gets out, the whole thing would be contained in a few days”

“Half the planet can be wiped in a few days Tony” Steve growled and stood up abruptly.

“Get the virus on lockdown, from now on the only people with access to it are in this room” Nick crossed his arms and looked at the blonde.

“Thought I was your boss?” Steve shot him a dangerous look and glared at him.

“And I thought you know how to do your damn job” Fury cocked his head back and nodded at Natasha

“You heard him, set it up”.

* * *

 

Bucky sighed as he exited the Thai restaurant, Steve was supposed to be home soon, so he figured he’d order in instead of cooking.

He knew Steve loved him. He wouldn’t have dropped everything to whisk him away to San Francisco for a week if he didn’t. But he was gone all the time, and Bucky wasn’t stupid, he knew financial analysts didn’t work that late. Besides, Steve’s math was shit, Bucky always had to fix the tips at the restaurants because Steve never did it right, or he estimated the taxes wrong on groceries. Maybe he _ran_ the company and that’s why his hours were so crazy.

That would also explain the incredibly impressive salary.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t notice the man walking right towards him until they collided, take-out spilling all over the dirty sidewalk.

“Shit!”

“Oh my goodness, I am so sorry, h-here, let me help!” Bucky smiled and shook his head

“No, it’s okay I should’ve-“ he glanced up and his blood went cold

“B-Brock?”

Brock looked nothing like he used to, he was clean-shaven, his hair gelled back and he was dressed in khaki pants and a blue plaid button up. He even had loafers. He took a slow step back and put his hands up passively.

“James, it’s good to see you. I really am sorry, I didn’t know it was you” Bucky felt himself shaking.

“What are you doing here?” his voice was cold, giving no inflection of how scared he was.

“I uh- I got paroled, joined AA, got a therapist – anger management classes. I’m not the same person I was before”

“I’d hope not” Brock bit his temper back, comfortable in the knowledge that he’d pay for it later and sighed.

“Look, I don’t want to bother you, you don’t have to ever see me again. But I’m glad I ran into you. I’m sorry for everything I did to you, I never appreciated you or what you did and that is my fault. I hurt you bad James, and I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but you deserve my apology. Here let me pay for your Thai, I’m the reason it’s all over the sidewalk” Bucky took a rapid step back, shaking his head violently.

“No, no that’s fine, I gotta go, Steve’ll be-“

“Steve?” Bucky swallowed thickly and nodded

“Yeah, my boyfriend” Brock nodded and looked at him

“Hope he treats you right, you deserve the world James” he shoved his hands into his pockets, rushing across the street and leaving Bucky standing there shaking. Brock was grinning from ear to ear. That went well.

* * *

 

Steve looked over as Bucky picked at his pizza, eyes occasionally darting nervously around the apartment. Steve set his plate down on the coffee table and took a sip of his beer, turning to face him.

“Hey, you okay?” he was worried that Bucky still thought Natasha was a threat, and after seeing Tony with his wedding ring tan-line and post-Pepper beard, the fear of losing him became so much more real. Bucky set his own untouched pizza down on the table and looked at Steve quietly

“Do you remember Brock?” Steve’s jaw automatically clicked and he set the bottle down. Bucky watched his calculated movements and felt himself relax.

“Yeah baby doll, I do, what about him?” Bucky shuffled across the couch and curled into Steve’s side, resting his head on his chest as he continued to watch the movie.

“Ran into him today, outside of _Thai Holic_ today, spilled our order everywhere” Steve immediately pulled Bucky into his lap, concern in his eyes. Great, Pierce _and_ Rumlow were both out.

“Baby, did he hurt you?” Bucky shook his head and Steve could feel him trembling.

“No, he was really nice, said he got paroled, went to AA and a bunch of other stuff. He was even wearing khakis” Steve kissed the side of his head and cradled him close, relief washing over him at the knowledge that Brock wasn’t a threat anymore.

“Good, I still hate him though” Bucky laughed and curled around him, clearly the encounter had left him more shaken than he was letting on.

“I told him about you” Steve’s lizard brain lit up at the idea of Brock knowing he’d been replaced

“Did you tell him I’m big and strong and could snap him in half?” Bucky snorted and gently grabbed his t-shirt.

“No, told him your dick was bigger” Steve threw his head back and let out a loud laugh. Obviously Bucky hadn’t done that, but God that would’ve been beautiful.

“Fucking right it is” Bucky pressed his head under Steve’s chin and closed his eyes. Breathing evening out.

“M’glad you’re home early tonight Steve” Steve felt the all to familiar feeling of guilt rear it’s head like an ugly monster in his stomach. He clicked off the TV and scooped Bucky into his arms bride-style, carrying him off to the bedroom.

“Me too baby doll”. He gently undressed them and tucked Bucky into bed, setting his alarm and curling around him protectively.

“Hey Buck?”

“Hmm?” Steve pressed a kiss to the back of his head and murmured softly

“When’s the last time you were sick?” Bucky shrugged sleepily and pressed his back against his chest.

“Iunno, while back, why?” he kissed his shoulder gently and looked over him at the bedroom door, slotting himself behind Bucky perfectly.

“Just wonderin’ couldn’t remember” the younger man hummed and laced their fingers together over his chest

“lu’oo Steve”

“Love you too, sleep well”.


	7. Chapter 7

“We have a breach on the twenty-first floor!” Steve and his fellow agents, Sam Wilson and Clint Barton rushed the stairwell with him, guns drawn. Natasha barking orders into his ear as they rushed down to the viral containment unit.

_“He’s going left”_ Steve and Sam swerved left, Clint rushing down the main hall to cover the other route as they rushed up to the unit.

“Special Agents! Freeze!” Sam yelled and the man turned and cackled, waving the cannister in his hand as he lurched out the window.

“Thanks Steve! Say hi to Bucky for me” Steve froze as the dark haired man fell away, Sam rushing after him.

“Nat, he’s heading north on 31st!”

_“We’ve got units after him”_

“He’s got the virus!” Steve glanced over and immediately rushed to Bruce’s side as he pressed his hands against the bullet wound in his stomach.

“M’sorry Steve-“

“Hey, hey it’s alright, we’ll get it, you just stay with me yeah?” Bruce nodded as Clint turned the corner, yanking a small bald man with glasses in by the scruff of the neck.

“Got one” The man grinned as it became obvious the cannister was gone.

“Uh oh, you’re losing Agent Rogers” Steve felt his blood boil.

“Get him out of here!”

* * *

 

“Idunno Wanda, something’s up with him”

_“Maybe he’s going to propose and he’s nervous?”_ Bucky laughed and felt his own face heating up as he continued puttering around the kitchen. He continued chatting as someone knocked on the door, turning up the hallway towards the entrance, Maria had been expecting a package so he didn’t bother hanging up.

“You think so?”

_“Bucky, he is so in love with you it’s actually gross. I bet my salary he’s ring hunting”_ Bucky opened the door and his heart stopped

“Heya Bucko” Bucky swallowed thickly and began immediately backing up as he shakily spoke into the phone.

“Call Steve”

_“Bucky!? What’s going on!?”_ Brock snatched the phone out of Bucky’s hand and grinned into the phone

“Is this Wanda?”

_“Brock fucking Rumlow, get away from him or I swear to God-“_

“Nice to chat but gotta go, bye” he stomped on Bucky’s phone and advanced on Bucky quickly, who turned around and scrambled back into the apartment, screaming.

* * *

 

“Jasper Maurice Sitwell” Steve glanced up from the file and looked at him sternly. Jasper grinned and waggled his fingers.

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out” Steve tossed the file on the table as Natasha advanced from the other side

“You’re in a lot of trouble Mr. Sitwell, and maybe we can help you out of some of it” Jasper looked at her with a raised eyebrow

“Oh?”

“Mmhmm, all we need is for you to answer a few questions and _poof_ this can all go away” Jasper looked between the two and shrugged

“What are your questions?”

“Where’s the virus?” Jasper tapped his lips and hummed

“Rumlow’s probably gotten it to ground zero by now” Steve perked

“Brock Rumlow?” Jasper grinned knowingly

“Who else would it be? You know him?” Natasha shot him a look and he leaned forward

“And where’s ground zero?”

“Wherever Pierce is, obviously” Steve growled as his phone started bussing in his pocket.

“Where’s Pierce?” Steve’s phone began buzzing again and Jasper looked at him

“You gunna get that?” Steve shot his own dark smile and turned back to him

“Naw, rather chat with you, now where is Alexander Pierce and Brock Rumlow” The phone started buzzing again and this time when Natasha looked at him, he felt himself get nervous.

“I really think you should answer that Agent Rogers, it could be trouble” Steve pulled the phone out of his pocket, still glaring at him.

“I’d just hate for something to happen to Bucky” Natasha gasped and Steve lurched out of the chair, sprinting from the building. Looking down at his phone

“Wanda!?” the woman was in hysterics, sobbing loudly and stuttering her words

_“Brock’s got Bucky! At the apartment”_ Steve hung up and ran towards the exit when he heard Jasper yell behind him.

“Certainly hope you get there in time!” Natasha “accidentally” kneed him in the groin as Steve rushed the stairs, passing Sharon on the way out.

“Send all available units to Red Hook!”

* * *

 

Bucky scrambled down the fire escape, Brock hot on his heels. He ducked down the alleyway, jumping over garbage bins as his heart pounded in his throat. He could feel the tears of fear stinging his eyes but refused to let them fall, he needed to be able to see.

He turned the corner and almost ran straight into an older gentlemen with red hair and skidded to a halt.

“Woah there son, where’s the fire?” Bucky shot a look behind him

“Please, you have to help me, please, he’s going to kill me!” the man looked over his shoulder and smiled

“Why don’t you just get in the car James?” Bucky froze at the sound of his name from the stranger and a cold dread spread through his body. He allowed a few tears of fear to take over as he spun around to get away, only to see Brock grinning maliciously, gun on his hip. He whipped back around and the older gentlemen was still smiling, a small revolver pointed at his chest.

“Why don’t we just get in the car Mr. Barnes?” Bucky swallowed thickly and slowly stepped into the car, Brock sliding into the driver’s seat and the old man sitting in the car next to him. Bucky’s tears were silently sliding down his face as he shook like a leaf. The man looked at him gently and extended his hand.

“Nice to meet you James, my name is Alexander Pierce. And I’m the man who is going to kill you” Bucky let out a horrified sob and began yanking on the locked doors and banging on the car window. Pierce sighed and pulled the syringe out of his pocket, grabbing him by the hair and jabbing it into his neck. Bucky falling unconscious in seconds.

* * *

 

Steve ran every red light. Sirens blaring in the black SUV as he sped to Red Hook. Every time he called Bucky’s cell phone it went right to voicemail.

“Come on, _come on!_ Pick up the phone!” he hung up and called again, slamming his hand on the steering wheel

“C’mon James, _answer your fucking phone!_ ” Steve’s heart was hammering as he screeched to a halt outside the apartment, gun drawn.

“Bucky! Bucky where are you!” Sam and Sharon were right behind him and he could hear sirens.

He burst through the door and rushed through the trashed home, checking each room.

“Bucky!” he blasted through the rooms two more times before Sam grabbed his arm gently.

“Steve, Steve, he’s not here” Steve looked at him and his eyes overflowed with tears. Sam shook him gently and painfully whispered

“We’ll get him back, we’ll get him back” Steve pressed the butt of the gun to his head as he spun in a circle.

 

Bucky was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

Steve sat dumbly on the couch as CSU moved around him, nothing was left unchecked. Natasha had shown up almost immediately after, even if she technically wasn’t supposed to be in the field. Fury had been smart enough to not call her out on it.

“He put up a Hell of a fight Steve, he’s tough” Steve nodded almost as though he was in a trance as he surveyed Maria’s apartment. He was going to have to call her. He cringed at the thought, knowing exactly what kind of Hell storm was on its way in Wanda Maximoff. He wiped at his eyes clenched his hands into fists. Natasha grabbed his hand in support and all he could hear was Bucky’s voice in his head.

_“Is she pretty?”_ he lurched away from his friend and she nodded in understanding, turning her head to the loud commotion outside. 

* * *

 

Wanda was five feet three inches of hysterical fury, and her brother Pietro was doing absolutely nothing to rein her in, not that Steve blamed him. He wondered which one was going to hit him first.

“Steve!” he stood and placed himself in the entrance way in full view of both of them, glad to finally have someone get mad.

Bucky’d met the Maximoff twins in foster care after their parents had died in an explosion. They had been new to America at the time so their English hadn’t been great. Sokovian hadn’t been too different from Russian so Bucky’d been able to help out a little, Wanda’d relied on him like the big brother she’d never had and as far as Pietro was concerned, Bucky was the definition of what a man should be. He’d never yelled in anger, always chose kindness first and was never afraid to stand up for someone.

Pietro didn’t want to think of where they could’ve ended up without Bucky’s guidance, even as he’d fought his own demons. Pietro had thought he was doing well, that Steve was good for him even with his crazy work hours. He was so wrong.

And Steven Rogers was going to regret the day he’d ever laid eyes on his brother.

* * *

 

Pietro got to him first, always the fast one, and Steve stood unflinching as the blow crossed his jaw, snapping his head back and sending him flying into the wall. Sharon and the other agents began to rush forward and he held up a hand. He wasn’t going to vocalize how much he needed someone to be angry, to hurt him just as badly on the outside as he was hurting on the inside.

“You sonuvabitch! He trusted you! _I_ trusted you! And you’ve lied, all this time it’s been a lie!?” Steve immediately began shaking his head as tears slid down his face. Nick coughed and most of the agents scattered, with the exception of Natasha, Sam and himself. Sharon hung just outside the door just in case, keeping a watchful eye on the under agents.

“No! No, not about that! I swear-“ Pietro hit him again and Wanda pushed him out of the way, glaring at Steve with hatred in her eyes.

“You _never_ deserved him! He’s too good for you, but he _loves_ you! And you’ve gotten him killed!” She began pounding her fists on his chest and he took it, silent tears still streaming down his face.

“You. Got. Him. Killed!” Steve grabbed at her wrists gently, keenly aware of Pietro watching his every move.

“He’s not, he’s _not_. He wouldn’t do that, not until I’m there. It’s me he wants, not Bucky. I’ll get him back, I _swear_ I’ll bring him home” Wanda let out a devastated wail and collapsed against his chest. Steve wrapped his arms around her and that’s when she felt it.

Steve’s breathing was erratic, his chest cavity convulsing with the effort of holding in his own sobs. She could feel the desperation in his grip as he tried to comfort her and suddenly all her anger disappeared. She rubbed her eyes and stepped back to look up at him, witnessing all the pain in his eyes. The fear, desperation, heartache and love in them.

“You find him. You find him, you tell him everything and you bring him home, do you understand?” he nodded and she grabbed his chin.

“Promise me”

_“I promise”_

* * *

“Morning Mr. Barnes” Bucky blinked his heavy eyes open and surveyed the room, he was shivering it was so cold. This threadbare t-shirt and jeans doing nothing to insulate him. He looked at the old man who was grinning at him – Pierce, his name was Pierce. Next to him was a very smug looking Rumlow. Bucky flinched away and noticed his arms were tied behind the back of the chair, his ankles taped to the legs with the same thick duct tape covering his mouth. Pierce smiled and stood up, shoving his hands in his pockets as he walked towards him, Bucky looking up with wide, terrified eyes.

“Now, if you can believe it Mr. Barnes, the reason you’re here has absolutely nothing to do with Brock? Does it Crossbones?” Rumlow shook his head and grinned.

“Nope, just a beautiful coincidence” Bucky glared at him and shot a look back at Pierce in confusion.

“You don’t know, do you?” Pierce grinned and let out a laugh

“Well, I won’t deny Rogers his chance to explain, but he’s why you’re here” _Steve? Oh my God, he’s after Steve._ Bucky jerked in the chair, yelling through the duct tape at him and Pierce smirked.

“Aren’t you feisty? I suggest you calm down before you get yourself in trouble.” Brock rested his hand on the gun still on his hip and Bucky swallowed thickly.

“Good boy. Now you don’t understand yet, but you’re going to be very important in the history of the world. The entire universe is about to change and it’s all going to start with you” Bucky was still shaking and Pierce smiled.

“I mean, you won’t live to see it, but you’re going to help shape this century, your contribution is going to be _very_ important Mr. Barnes” Bucky shook his head vigorously and Pierce stroked the side of his face, patting his cheek gently.

“Now you be a good boy and wait here. We’ve got big plans for you” the turned and walked away as Bucky began struggling against the restraints again, feeling his skin tear in the tape and he screamed through the gag. He struggled to catch his breath as the sobs continued to force their way up his throat. His own cries echoing in the large room back at him.

* * *

 

Pierce analyzed the containment unit critically, glancing back at the shaking doctor.

“And you’re sure this is completely sealed? Total quarantine?” Dr. Helen Cho looked up with a shaky nod as Brock pressed the gun harder against her back.

“Y-yes sir. Nothing will get it or out” Pierce nodded at the small glass room and walked up to the panel.

“Explain it to me, I want to make sure I know all of it.” Dr. Cho nodded and shuffled up next to him, trembling in fear as she explained the mechanics.

“T-this is the air monitor, w-when the virus is introduced, the bars will be lit all the way to red. A-as the cells die and the virus dissipates, it will go back down through orange, yellow and eventually green. The containment unit can only be opened when it hits green, at which time risk of contamination is at less than 3%” Pierce nodded and moved to the next screen

“This one?”

“This monitors the strength of the virus, starting at LD-50. Again, as the cells die, the power will go down until it is again considered harmless and safe to be in the vicinity of” Pierce nodded again and turned to the last one, outlining the body of a human and having several screens.

“Now this looks more familiar to me” Dr. Cho nodded and tears streamed down her face. This was the one she hated most.

“It monitors the vitals of whoever is in the unit, it will highlight the areas under the most distress. It shows where the virus will attack first and how aggressive it’ll be” she pointed listlessly at the loading unit.

“One the virus has been released into the chamber, It will immediately do an updated scan every two seconds, basically a live feed to show what is happening to the victim. All the data is saved and recorded afterwards.” Pierce shuffled in excitement and looked at her with bright eyes.

“They’ll be a fascinating study don’t you think?” she glared and him and squared her shoulders.

“I hope it’s you in that box” she spit in his face and he breathed heavily through his nose, Brock, slamming the butt of the gun between her shoulders and knocking her to her knees.

“I’d be careful with that attitude if I was you Dr. Cho, it could be _you_ in that box if you’re not careful”.


	9. Chapter 9

“Dr. Helen Cho. She’s a world-renowned geneticist and one of the top biochemical researchers in the world.” Steve stared at the screen as the picture of the young doctor’s picture flashed on the screen. Tony looked down at the file and continued reading.

“She was supposed to appear at the University of Texas in Dallas for a series of lectures on new quarantine technologies and airborne illnesses two weeks ago. She was reported missing when she checked into her hotel but failed to show up for her first lecture the next day. Hotel room showed no signs of struggle or forced entry. No ransom has been given yet either” Sharon spoke up from her position next to Steve.

“There was also a break-in at a bio mechanics lab in Chicago about the same time. Materials for a containment unit, along with several monitoring systems were reported stolen.”

Steve stood up and looked at the screen. He hadn’t shaved in days and had ditched the suit for a pair of acid wash jeans and a blue Henley. Natasha kept glancing at him in concern, you could see him falling apart from the inside out and it was horrifying.

“So he’s making a protection unit?” Bruce hobbled over, still slowly recovering and shook his head.

“Worse, it’s a containment unit. It looks like he wants to test the effects of the virus before unleashing it” Steve staggered a little as the gravity of the statement hit him.

“So, Dr. Cho has built a contamination testing unit for him to find a victim to test what is currently the world’s most deadly virus – which is made entirely out of spliced common illnesses which normally mean nothing, that _we_ created – before unleashing it on the world” Steve’s eyes were deadly and the team had the decency to look ashamed. He turned to Fury and pointed at him.

“We’re getting them back, getting Pierce _and_ Rumlow. Then this get destroyed, this whole project. Files, data, the whole nine. VR 12 will be nothing but a bad memory” Nick cocked his head and looked at him

“I am still your boss Agent Rogers”

“Not after this you’re not” the air left the room as Steve delivered the blow and Natasha slowly leaned forward

“He’s right Nick, it’s all gotta go” Nick glanced at her and looked back at him.

“So what do you propose we do Agent?”

* * *

 

“Stupid. Ugly. Slut!” Bucky grunted out in pain as Brock delivered blow after blow, unable to fight back. The hair fell over and Bucky’s head cracked against the concrete ground, making his head swim. Rumlow laughed and started kicking him.

“Where’s your Romeo Bucko? He’s not coming is he? He isn’t gunna save you!” Bucky shook his head. Steve would come, he’d get the police, he’d be okay.

There was a sudden commotion and Rumlow paused as the door opened.

“Get in position, Rogers is here” Bucky’s head snapped up and Rumlow let out a laugh, grabbing the back of the chair and dragging Bucky’s limp form down the hallway and into another room. He was placed across from another chair and behind him in the corner of the room was a large glass box.

“Wait here Juliette, I’ll be back with your honey in no time” Bucky stared at him in horrified confusion as he walked away.

* * *

 

Steve pulled his guns out again as the large metal elevator continued to climb the warehouse. They had found the location of Pierce through some _aggressive persuasion_ of Sitwell. That was going to be a nightmare later but Steve had no intention of being with the department long enough to deal with the Internal Affairs unit.

It was a large unit in Harlem, completely unclimactic for a place set to trigger the end of humanity as they knew it and Steve couldn’t help but laugh at how cliché the whole thing was. Right down to the theft of the significant other.

God he hated spy movies.

He slipped his second gun into the waistband of his jeans and lifted the other as the elevator rattled to a stop. He had nothing, no backup (yet), no wire and no plan. The moment he’d gotten the address he’d taken off, leaving his colleagues scrambling in his wake.

He slowly made his way down the hallway and stopped when he saw light coming from an old office room. He crept up slowly and cocked the hammer back, he had no intentions of following protocols.

“You can stand outside, or you can come in, Agent Rogers” Steve swallowed thickly and closed his eyes as Pierce’s voice called smugly through the doorway. He walked in with his gun hanging at his side.

Pierce cackled and watched as Steve knocked his head back, glaring down his nose at the older man. He looked more like a pissed off gang member than an agent but he really couldn’t care less right now.

“Pierce”

“Aw, c’mon Steve, you gotta at least pretend you’re happy to see me?” Steve growled and advanced into the room, glaring the man at the desk down.

“It’s over Alexander, you’ve lost. Where’s Bucky?” he stalked up and loomed over the desk, Pierce grinned and leaned back in the chair.

“You sure about that? Look at you, so distracted you don’t even check your surroundings-“

Steve’s eyes went wide, a second later pain bloomed at the back of his head and everything turned to black as his knees hit the floor.

“This is almost too easy”…

* * *

 

Steve felt his blood run cold as the sack was taken off his head, sitting taped to the chair in front of him sat Bucky, covered in cuts and bruises. He had duct tape over his mouth and winced every time he breathed, he saw Steve and his eyes went wide as he fought at the restraints, concern written all over his features. Steve felt his heart break even more.

"Bucky!" Bucky mumbled something and jerked towards him again - only to stop abruptly when the barrel of a gun was pressed to his head.

"Well, I gotta be honest with ya I was not expecting you to be gay of all people Mr. Rogers" Bucky's brow furrowed in confusion and Steve swallowed thickly

"Just let him go, he has nothing to do with this and you know it!" Bucky looked at him with nervous eyes and Alexander laughed

"He doesn't know does he? This is simply beautiful! Now, call off your dogs and everyone goes home in one piece" Steve shook his head

"No, you're gunna have to kill me" Bucky let out a muffled shout and the terrorist rolled his eyes

"Oh please, don’t insult me. Now, here's how this is gunna go Rogers, I'm gunna count to ten, and then, if you don't answer, I'm gunna grab your little doll here and put him in _that_ chamber and illustrate to you exactly how your super virus works." He pressed the gun harder into Bucky's temple, causing a small trail of blood to form and Bucky whimpered.

"No, you fucking sonuvabitch! He's got nothing to do with this!" Steve felt desperation curl in his veins. Why didn’t he just wait for backup?

"One" Steve struggled against his own restraints and Bucky stared at him in terrified confusion.

"Two"

"Bucky, Bucky baby look at me, look at me okay, focus on me everything's gunna be fine, you're gunna be okay- hey!"

"Five" Alexander pushed the gun harder to Bucky's head and the brunette slammed his eyes shut, letting out a quiet sob. Steve felt his heart stop.

"You bastard! Look just let him go, it's me you want anyway. He has nothing to do with this for god sake he's a yoga instructor!" The American looked unimpressed

"Seven" Bucky began to tremble as his body's adrenaline began to take over as the countdown ended.

"Why don't we take this off?" Steve winced sympathetically as the tape was ripped from his boyfriend's soft lips.

"Eight" Bucky looked at him with tear filled eyes

"What's he talking about Steve? Why's he calling you Agent? What virus?!"

"Ten" Pierce sighed heavily and snapped his fingers, Rumlow and another man coming in with Dr. Cho as Rumlow advanced to Bucky’s chair.

“You can never just cooperate can you?” Rumlow grabbed Bucky’s chair and dragged him back towards the chamber and all Hell broke loose.


	10. Chapter 10

Steve lurched against the restraints, almost knocking the chair over, his heart pounding so badly in his ears he could barely hear himself as he screamed.

"Stop! Please, just stop, he doesn't even know I'm an agent just let him go! Please, look at me, hmm, you and I, we can work something out. But you have to let him go" Steve stared at the man with pleading eyes

" _Please_ "

“I love seeing you beg Agent Rogers, truly I do, but I need to be able to see what exactly I’m unleashing on this world. And Bucky here, well I mean he’s just so pretty he’ll be a great one to study, wouldn’t you agree?”

Bucky thrashed desperately against the restraints as Brock dragged the chair towards the unit, two armed men coming from the wings and aiming at Bucky to keep him docile.

"What's happening, I don't understand, Steve please! What's going on? I didn't do anything wrong!" Bucky wailed and cringed away from the gun pointed at him as he desperately tried to make sense of what was going on. Steve threw himself forward, back legs of the chair rising off the ground as he desperately tried to free himself.

“Stop! Stop! Pierce, you don’t have to do this! Please!” his cried fell on deaf ears as Rumlow dragged the chair into the centre of the chamber, the two men at the door cocking their guns as he cut the tape off and released Bucky from the chair. He stumbled forward and the men took aim as Rumlow walked back out of the unit. Bucky looked over them at Steve nervously and watched as the men stepped out, sealing the room.

“Steve?” his voice was so soft, so confused and Steve thrashed harder as Pierce walked over to the loading unit, small vial in his hands.

“Now, Mr. Barnes contrary to popular belief I do believe in telling the truth so I’ll start at the beginning for you because Agent Rogers here is a little too distressed.” Bucky was still standing in the centre of the chamber, trembling as he looked at Pierce with shining, terrified eyes.

“Steve here is a top agent of a very hush hush branch of the Secret Service called SHIELD. He, his coordinator Natasha, and most of his colleagues all do the American government’s dirty work”

Bucky looked at Steve confusion filling his eyes.

“What’s he talking about?” Steve squeezed his eyes shut and hung his head as Pierce continued.

“Mmhmm, you remember the dictator who was shot in Dubai?”

“It was all over the news” Pierce pointed a finger gun at Steve and grinned

“Bingo” Bucky looked at him in shock and Steve began blabbering.

“Steve, i-is this true?”

“Bucky, baby I can explain, I can explain all of it okay-“ Bucky took a startled step back and Pierce took the opportunity to place the cartridge into the loading chamber.

“Stop! No! _No!_ ” Bucky backed away from the chamber and rushed at the door, trying desperately to open the door.

“Steve! Steve do something!” Steve twisted his arms so hard under the tape he could hear is wrist crack and let out a frustrated cry.

“And three… two... o-“

"Boss! We have a problem!" Pierce rolled his eyes and stepped away, the virus still unreleased.

"Fine, here, why don't the two of you deliberate some more? See if maybe you'll change your mind?" He winked and the two strutted out of the room, leaving both Bucky and Steve struggling...

* * *

 

“Did you get it!?” Bruce watched the monitor, hands shaking as Tony watched the configurations. Since they realized Pierce’s plan, all he and Bruce had been doing was trying to develop some form of antidote.

“C’mon, come on… _Fuck_!” Tony threw the petri dish across the room as Bruce collapsed into the chair next to him. Tony wiped at his eyes as tears of frustration leaked from his eyes. The two inhaled deeply and looked at one another.

“Okay, again”

“Twelve times the charm”.

* * *

 

Bucky was crouched low in the corner, shielding himself even though it was obvious the bullets weren’t going to scratch the glass of the containment unit. Steve alternating between trying to force the door open and shoot back. Sam covering him as he beat the door desperately.

“Crossbones, cover me!” Brock stood and opened fire as Pierce ran up to the unit. Steve immediately jumping up to intercept him, pulling out his gun.

Everything slowed down. Rumlow turned to Steve, leaving himself open to Sam who immediately opened fire on his chest, the one shot Brock was able to get off grazing Steve’s temple as he raised his gun. Bucky ran forward and slammed himself against the door, in total survival mode and revealing every ounce of strength under the slim body. Pierce turned and looked at Steve with a smile.

It was over. He knew it was. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t keep Steve from winning.

“ _Pierce!”_ Steve began emptying his sig and Pierce pressed the button. Steve’s enraged cry echoed through the warehouse.

Pierce collided with the unit, chest painted red as he slid to the ground, soft smile on his face as he coughed out his last words.

“Hail Hydra” his eyes rolled back and Steve gaped in horror as the alarms on the vital screen began screaming.

Steve began frantically pressing buttons, trying to trigger the release on the door. Bucky’d rushed over next to him, watching him desperately.

“Steve! Steve open the door! Try that one”

“It’s okay, I’m gunna get you out okay? Look at me, it’s okay, give me one second!” Suddenly Clint grabbed Steve and yanked him away from the consul, Bucky screaming as he was dragged back a few feet. Steve threw a hard elbow and knocked Clint back, charging back to the machines and Natasha suddenly called out in a broken voice.

“Steve stop!” she walked up to her agent who was still pressing buttons and Bucky looked at her in betrayed confusion. She pressed her hand on his shoulder and he began shaking his head vigorously.

“Steve, Steve we can’t open it” Bucky looked at her

“What do you mean, I’m fine! I feel fine open the door! Steve open the door please!” Natasha’s eyes filled with tears and he pointed at the monitor.

“Steve, he’s already infected. We open the door, we release it into the world. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” Steve looked at the monitor and sure enough, Bucky’s scans were already lighting up as the virus attacked his different systems. Infection monitor at full red bars.

“Steve, I’m fine, I feel fine. Please, _please_ baby open the door!” He looked up at Bucky and let out a sob. Bucky went to argue again and suddenly let out a series of violent coughs that almost sounded like the sea lions from the Pier and Steve’s world stopped. Bucky froze in realization and he looked up at him with desperate eyes, sweat already beading on his forehead and flush high on his cheeks. He slid down to his knees and pressed his head against the glass.

“Please, I wanna go home” Steve covered his mouth with his hands and broke down, sobs wracking his body as he pressed himself against the glass, like he could be absorbed through and into the chamber with him.

“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, oh God, I’m so sorry”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be advised this chapter is exclusively dealing with Bucky getting progressively worse. There is no happy here. It may contain graphic depictions of illness people may find uncomfortable to read.

“Tell me you have something!?” Fury bellowed as he flew into the lab, Sharon behind him as the two scientists looked up. Both Tony and Bruce had tears in their eyes and their bodies screamed exhaustion and frustration. Tony shook his head and Bruce choked out an answer.

“We’ve tested over fifty possibilities in the last hour. We’re running out of potentials and we need more time”

“You don’t have it, a civilian’s been infected, he’s contained, but infected. We need an antidote yesterday” Fury snapped. Tony and Bruce looked at each other and Tony spoke shakily.

“Steve?” Fury shook his head and Sharon whispered

“James Barnes” realization clouded their features and Tony let out a loud _Fuck_ as Bruce looked at them.

“After 72 hours, he’ll be safe to transport, we’ll keep trying here, just get him to hold on”

“For three days!? You better work fast” the two turned back to the microscopes as Fury and Sharon walked out. Trying not to show how much the situation was affecting them.

* * *

 

Bucky lolled his head against the wall, his clothes were stained with sweat and he’d vomited and coughed so much in the four hours that he’d torn his throat, blood staining his cracked lips as he shook from dehydration.

Steve stayed pressed next to him, refusing the offer of stitches on his temple as he refused to take his eyes off his lover, who was steadily declining at an alarming rate. Bucky coughed again and leaned back against the glass, closing his eyes.

"Bucky, Bucky open your eyes" the grey orbs rolled around in his head as he struggled to remain awake.

"S-Steve?"

"Yeah, yeah baby it's me, I'm right here, I'm right here"

"S-so cold" Steve's fear was rapidly approaching panic. Bucky hadn’t even been healthy when he’d been put in there, already held for several hours with no food, water and beaten. Bucky rolled his head to look at him through the glass as he panted, Steve forced himself to give him a reassuring smile, eyes wet with tears.

"I know, I know it's cold in here isn't it? But I'll tell you what? You stay awake and I'll take you to Bali"

"Bali?" The glazed eyes looked at him weakly and Steve tried to smile as reassuringly as he could.

"Yeah baby, we'll go to Bali, as long as you'd like. We'll visit all the monasteries and go for hikes and all that nature, new age spiritual stuff you like" the corners of Bucky’s lips quirked up minutely and his eyes fluttered again.

"Maria wen'" he slurred and Steve nodded almost manically, desperate to keep his attention

"I know, she was telling us about it, and you were so excited for her, I wanna take you there. See you get all excited too" Bucky took a laboured breath and grimaced, his teeth tinged pink with blood.

"You think h-heaven looks like Bali?" The agent welcomed the panic that sunk in

"No, no heaven looks like total shit, completely fucking pathetic, don't go there. Stay here with me"

"Stay wi'oo?" Steve sniffed and pressed as close as he could

"Yeah love, with me, always" Bucky suddenly began to sob and he looked away.

"I don't even know you. I don't know who you are!" Steve closed his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat as Bucky continued to cry.

"I don't fucking know you at all, I gave you e-everything. No one knows me like y-you d-do and now loo-look at me-me. Locked in a box God knows where and I'm gunna die here-"

"No Bucky-"

"Shut up! You. Said. You. Lo-loved. Me." Each word was split by a heaving breath

"It w-was all a lie" Steve felt tears fall from his eyes and he let out his own sob.

"Bucky... Bucky please" he shook his head and spit out a mouthful of blood as tears continued to stream down, triggering another series of hacking coughs which set the alarms on the monitor off.

"Just leave me alone" Bucky began to cry again and curled in on himself protectively, gagging and lurching forward again as he vomited a string of blood tainted bile. His arms buckled at the effort to hold him up and he just managed to maneuver himself away from the puddle as he crashed onto his side. Steve dropped himself down as well, so the two were laying facing each other. Bucky opened his eyes and looked at him blearily.

“S-Steve?” Steve sniffed and looked at him tenderly. If he ignored the mess of his lover, the cold concrete – really everything. It was just like they were in bed together, just like any other night. Bucky gently placed his fingers against the glass, stroking his thumb over the glass and Steve lined his hand up with his, curling his other arm under his head.

"Yeah baby, what is it?" He tried to keep his voice calm, ignoring the CSU team who was moving around him silently, cleaning up the bodies and collecting evidence.

"I-I d-didn't me-mean it, d-don't l-leave me o-okay. I d-don't w-wanna d-die al-alone" tears escaped Steve's eyes again and he shook his head, locking eyes with the terrified younger man.

"I'm not gunna leave you baby, I promise, I promise Bucky, you and me, you and me till the end of the line" Bucky gave a tiny smile and Steve returned it gently. He caught the eyes drifting closed.

“Hey! Hey, stay awake, look at me, _look at me Bucky_. We’re gunna get you out of here. We’re gunna go home okay? I just need you to hold on just a little longer, can you do that for me?” Bucky nodded shakily and Steve smiled.

“Thank you baby, I’m gunna take care of you okay? I’m gunna fix all of it, I just need you to hang on a little longer” Bucky blinked back his tears and looked at him, his eyes were filled with so much faith Steve felt nauseous.

“Okay Stevie, I’ll hold on”…

* * *

 

They were twelve hours in when the seizures started. Bucky was an absolute mess, the sweat was dripping off his body, his eyes a horrible yellow colour and each breath was laboured as his lungs continued to fill with fluid. He’d begun bleeding out his orifices as hemorrhagic fever took over his body. But he never took his eyes off Steve, and Steve never took his eyes off Bucky. The two had been whispering about nothing really, just trying to keep him distracted. Steve had sent Dr. Cho running after she quietly informed the team that the virus had moved into Bucky’s spinal chord. He didn’t need to hear what it was doing to Bucky, he could see it happening live.

Suddenly Bucky’s eyes completely glazed over and his brow furrowed. Steve jerked in alarm, realizing how his body was completely numb from laying on one place for so long.

“Buck?”

“Steve, I don’t – I don’t feel so good” suddenly his eyes rolled back and began convulsing violently on the floor, head cracking violently on the concrete.

“Bucky!? Oh god!” Steve sat up immediately, pressing against the glass counting the seconds as he kept murmuring comforting words like a broken record.

“You’re okay baby, I’m right here, it’s okay, s’gunna be okay, shh, we’re okay”

They were at five minutes. Steve was barely coherent through his tears and Natasha came and knelt next to him as Bucky continued to jerk. She gently wrapped her arms around him as he became unable to speak through his own cries.

* * *

 

Tony slowly edged his way into the warehouse, he wanted Bucky’s files. Maybe they couldn’t make an antidote, but they could try to attack each part one-by-one. The agents were all standing outside the room, even the HAZMAT team was lingering. He slowly opened the door and realized why.

The room was completely empty with the exception of Steve and Bucky. Steve was plastered to the glass wall, murmuring softly to Bucky who was convulsing, gurgling and choking sounds escaping him as he desperately grabbed for air that his body wouldn’t let him have. He was clearly clinging to Steve’s every word and you could tell that the inside of that chamber was nothing but a house of death.

A giant, glass casket.

He slowly walked up to the monitor, giving them privacy as he quickly began recording the scans. He listened gently as Steve began rattling off confession after confession, Bucky listening in absolute rapture.

"My name is Steven Grant Rogers. I wasn't born in Washington I was born in Brooklyn. My mom’s name was Sarah, and when I was a kid I was so sick and small I used to have to put newspapers in my shoes. I don't have a degree in business from MIT I went into the military right after high school. I hate action and military movies because they're either too inaccurate or they remind me too much of what I’ve been through. I like to draw, mainly sketch and I don’t think I’m half bad if I do say so myself-“

Bucky gave a wet laugh and he smiled encouragingly

“My favourite colour is blue, my favourite musician is Frank Sinatra and I hate drinking tea. I’m an only child and when my mom was sick she said the only regret she had was that she’d never be able to see me with the person I’d fall in love with” Bucky nodded and smiled.

“D-do you think she’d like me?” Steve nodded vigorously and smiled at him with red-rimmed eyes.

“Baby, she’d fucking _adore_ you”. Tony wiped at his eyes as he grabbed the scans and slowly walked out. He heaved a rattling breath on the other side of the door, puling his phone out of his pocket.

“Hey! Uh Pepper, it’s me”…

* * *

 

Thirty hours. The bars on the monitor were now in the low oranges. Steve knew Tony and Bruce were still working tirelessly on some form of treatment. Even Dr. Cho had gotten involved.

“Y-y-you a-a-wa-wake?” Steve’s eyes snapped up from where he had been watching their fingers traced one another through the glass. He sent Bucky a soft smile even though he knew Bucky was now almost completely blind, gaze milky white.

“Yeah baby, I’m here” Bucky smiled and blinked, a blood-tinted tear sliding down his cheek.

“I-I-I had a r-r-really good t-time in S-San Fr-Francis-Francisc-co” Steve swallowed thickly and steadied his voice.

“Me too, best week of my life” Bucky nodded and coughed harshly, blood splattering against the glass.

“I’m r-really gla-ad we w-w-went” Steve felt dread curl in the pit of his stomach and he looked at him in concern.

“What’s going on Bucky?” Bucky sniffed.

“I-I c-c-can’t f-f-feel m-my legs a-anym-more” Steve froze as he shot a quick look at Bucky’s monitor and saw all the flashing red.

“Well, they’re still there so don’t you worry” Bucky let out another wet laugh and choked again.

“I-I’m rea-really happy I m-met you. I l-love y-y-ou so-so mu-much” Steve’s eyes filled with tears as realization washed over him.

Bucky was saying goodbye.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, graphic depictions of sick Bucky, so please proceed with caution.

“I-I m-mea-n, h-how m-many people can sa-say they pl-pl-played-d an original solo p-piece at t-the Castro?” Steve had his hand pressed to his mouth to hide the sobs.

“Bucky Barnes can” Bucky let out the first real smile since he’d been locked in.

“Y-Yeah, yeah I can”

“We gotta break into Carnegie Hall now” Bucky breathed a laugh and Steve tried to ignore how wheezy his breathing was.

“I’m not m-mad Steve” Steve closed his eyes against the words and sniffed.

“I w-was, at-at first. B-but not now. It-it’s okay S-Steve. I kn-know you t-tried” a sob escaped him and Steve inhaled shakily

“Bucky…”

“I j-just wish I c-could have m-more time. I j-just want f-five more minutes with you” Bucky whimpered again and Steve cleared his throat.

“We will, I swear, we’re gunna get you out of here, and once we do, we’re going to get you all better and then I am _never_ spending another day without you okay?” Bucky gave a soft nod but it was clear he didn’t believe him.

“H-hurts so much” Steve closed his eyes and shook his head in anguish.

“I know, and you’re doing so well baby, so strong. Just a little bit longer okay? Just a little longer” Bucky spit out another mouthful of blood and gasped for air as his body twitched from oxygen deprivation.

“W-when I s-said I w-w-wanted to-to spend my l-life with you. I r-r-really thought I h-ha-had more than a m-month le-left-t” he’d tried for humour but all it did was wound Steve more. He pressed his forehead against Bucky’s through the glass.

“I’m gunna spend my life with you Bucky Barnes. We’re gunna get married, we’re going to grow old together, you and me” Bucky reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, pulling a tiny silver band from inside. Steve gasped and he stared at Bucky’s unseeing eyes.

"I-I wan-wanted to a-ask you p-personally, b-but I d-didn't know when I'd g-get the ch-chance, y-you w-we're never home, so I j-just kept it w-with me for th-the right t-time" Steve stared at him and he looked down

"K-kinda stupid n-now-" Steve stared at him and snarled.

"No. It wasn't stupid, I’ve been ring hunting for _months_ " Bucy’s eyes snapped up in shock, even though he was blind.

“R-really?” Steve let out a sob and nodded his head.

“Y-yeah, I found a nice gold one, was supposed to go back tomorrow to get it. I needed to find your size” Bucky smiled and a tear slid down his face.

“I love you more than anything else in this world James Buchanan Barnes. As soon as we get you better, promise me you’ll marry me” Bucky whimpered.

“I p-pr-promise-e” the two smiled and Steve kept talking as Bucky was hit with another grand mal seizure.

* * *

 

“Oh my God” Tony snapped his head over at Bruce as he jumped out of the chair.

“What?”

“Oh my God!” Tony and Dr. Cho rushed the other scientist and Dr. Cho gasped and Tony threw the formula on the big screen.

“Everyone stop! We need everyone to work on this formula _now_! I expect at least fifty does in the next twenty minutes!” the whole lab simultaneously dropped what it was doing, turning to the task at hand as Bruce grabbed the direct line.

“Fury, we’ve got it!”

* * *

 

Two days. He’d been in there two days. The bars were now in the mid yellows but Steve knew it didn’t matter. Bucky wasn’t going to make it that long. He looked at Steve with unseeing eyes.

“S-Steve?”

“I’m here”

“M’scared” Steve was still surprised that he had tears left and he knocked on the glass next to Bucky’s palm, letting him know he was still close.

“Don’t be scared baby, I’m right here, I’m right beside you okay?” Bucky’s body began convulsing uncontrollably and Steve felt his heart clench. This was new, a quick glance at the scans revealed the nightmare unfolding in front of his eyes.

It had finally gotten to his brain.

Bucky’s eyes rolled back as he coughed blood and clenched his hand against the glass.

“H-hold my h-h-hand” Steve let out a soft sob as the alerts went off. Bucky’s organs were shutting down. His heart was overworked and there was no oxygen.

This was it.

He was dying.

Steve repeatedly knocked his hand against the glass, repeatedly showing Bucky he was still there. But Bucky couldn’t hear him anymore.

Bucky wasn’t there anymore.

He continued to thrash as his body fought desperately to stay alive and Steve began speaking calmly again as he watched his world fall apart.

“Don’t be scared baby doll, I’m right here, I’m right here okay? Bucky you are so loved, _so loved_. Maria loves you, Wanda loves you, Pietro loves you. Chevette loves you. _I love you_. You’re okay, I’m right here. I love you so much, _so much_ …”

Bucky’s eyes trained back on his as he convulsed and he gained enough control to knock on the glass, Steve immediately knocking back.

“I love your hair, I love your eyes, your _beautiful_ eyes. I love your smile and your laugh. I love your voice and your arms. I love your hands and your fingers and the _amazing_ music you create. I love how you dance, I love how much you love kids-“ Bucky stared at him as he twitched, drinking in every word almost with a look of peace on his face and Steve knocked the glass again.

“I love how you curl into my arms, and how you fit like the missing piece I didn’t know I needed. I love you. I love you and I need you. You’re everything to me”

“I l-love you t-too” Bucky suddenly arched up like something out of a horror movie and let out a horrid choking sound as he began convulsing worse than before.

“Baby? Hey, _hey!_ Bucky, stay with me! Stay with me baby doll c’mon. Bucky _please_!” Steve began pounding the glass, all pretense of calm leaving him at the reality unfolding.

* * *

 

The HAZMAT team swarmed the containment unit setting up a secondary quarantine between the door and the rest of the warehouse. Steve oblivious to it all as he continued banging on the glass.

The unit door opened and the team charged in. the first HAZMAT looking up and locking eyes with Steve.

“T-Tony?” Tony nodded and pulled out a syringe, jabbing it forcefully into Bucky’s chest.

The alarms began calming down and Steve gaped. They had something.

“Okay we got him stable. Get him on the stretcher!” The team moved Bucky onto the quarantine stretcher and headed for the middle room. Resealing the unit and beginning the decontamination process. Steve staggered to the door as it opened and the team rushed out.

“T-Tony!?”

“Can’t explain, make no promises! Nat’ll fill you in!” with that the team sprinted off, leaving Steve in it’s wake as Sam caught him.

“C’mon man, I’ll drive”.

* * *

 

Steve sat on the edge of the hospital bed as the nurse removed his IV. Wise enough to remain silent.

“There, you should be rehydrated, but I highly recommend you sleep as soon as possible” the look he sent the poor woman could kill and Clint coughed.

“He will” she nodded and scurried out as Bruce looked at him.

“Is he alive!?” Bruce nodded.

“He’s stable, we don’t know – it might be too late Steve – and the formula has never actually been tested, we just got it and made a shit tonne.”

“Bruce, _please_ ” Bruce looked at the broken agent and smiled.

“It’s going to be close Steve. But I think we have a chance here” Steve stood and made it two steps before falling into the doctor’s arms, sobbing out a thank you.

“He’ll be in surgery for a while, try and sleep. You’ll be first to know if _anything_ changes okay?” Steve started shaking his head and Natasha glared him down.

“What good will you be to him if you’re barely conscious Rogers, take a nap. I’ll be your eyes and ears – like usual” he nodded and slowly laid down on the bed. The others filing out of the hospital room as he lay there.

He was just about to close his eyes when his phone dinged.

_One New Email_

_From:[JDanvers@gmail.com](mailto:JDanvers@gmail.com)_

_Subject: Alcatraz Ferry Photo_

_Hi Steve and James,_

_I’m sorry this took so long to send to you, but I fell in love with San Fran and had stayed way longer than I had intended. Please find attached the photo I took of the two of you on the ferry over to Alcatraz island. My Professor loved it and is using it as an example for his first year class._

_Thank you so much for letting me keep the photo, I hope you like it!_

_All the best,_

_Julie._

Steve opened the attachment and let out a gutted sob, pressing the phone screen to his face as he cried himself to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

_“What are you doing here!?” Bucky absolutely beamed as Steve walked through the door of the Community Centre. He waved as Chevette looked at him with a raised eyebrow and a knowing smile._

_“Snuck out of a meeting early, wanted to see if you could do lunch?” Bucky glanced down at the stack of papers on his desk then back to Chevette who groaned good naturedly._

_“Oh go ahead, I’ll cover you until you get back” Bucky giggled and dropped the paperwork, tapping her desk as he strode by._

_“I owe you one Chevette! I’ll cover your nightshift Thursday!” Steve laughed as Bucky grabbed his hand as they walked out into the sunlight._

_“So where are we going for lunch?” Steve smirked and pressed a kiss to his temple._

_“Well, there’s a food truck competition in Prospect Park today-“ Bucky grinned as the two crossed the street…_

_Bucky moaned as he bit into his pupusa. Steve smiling from where he was snacking on his philly cheesesteak. Bucky looked out at the waterway and turned to him, holding out the Salvadoran snack._

_“Try it!” Steve smirked and tried, humming and nodding his head_

_“S’good”_

_“Damn right it is!” Steve watched the slight breeze ruffle Bucky’s hair and he inhaled sharply._

_“Move in with me” Bucky froze mid bite and looked at him._

_“What?”_

_“C’mon Buck, move in with me. We’ve been together three years, and Waterfront isn’t far from Red Hook, literally one extra stop on the subway” Bucky looked at him with big eyes and Steve softened his approach, recognizing a scared animal when he saw one._

_“I’m in love with you Bucky, I wanna move in with you. If it’s about your place and you wanna stay in Red Hook we’ll move there-“ he gently laced their fingers together and looked down at their hands._

_“I just wanna spend as much time with you as I can, wanna wake up next to you, go to sleep next to you – you know my schedule is insane baby, and I don’t get to spend anywhere near enough time with you, but, if we live together, then I always know you’re there” Steve felt filleted, he’d broached the topic several times before, but not quite as openly. Bucky swallowed thickly and looked down at their hands._

_“What if – what if I keep my apartment, but I live with you this month? Then we can decide if that’s really what we want, because my lease will be coming up anyway?” **what you want**_ **.** _Steve knew Bucky would never fully be over what Brock had put him through, but this was the boon he’d been looking for and he wasn’t about to say no. Steve looked up at him from where he was reclined on his side and smiled._

_“I’d like that a lot, I think it’s a great idea baby” Bucky’s grin came back and Steve pulled him down for a kiss, a few tears escaping him as their lips moved together languidly. Bucky pulled away and looked at him excitedly._

_“Oh my god! Steve are you crying!?” he laughed but his own eyes were wet as he wiped the older man’s tears away. Steve laughed with him and pulled him back in._

_“You’ve got any idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear this Barnes?” Bucky laughed and flopped onto his back in the grass, curling his head to press against Steve’s propped arm._

_“S’not a yes you punk” Steve pinched his side playfully and looked down at him._

_“Not yet, jerk, but it will be” Bucky rolled his eyes but they were sparkling, and Steve would give anything to stay in this moment._

_Bucky never did renew his lease._

* * *

 

Steve snapped out of the memory as the door to Bucky’s room slid open. He turned and watched as Wanda and Pietro slowly came in, the first time the three had seen each other since before. They took in each others’ haggard appearances and came to a quite understanding as Wanda gently sat on the edge of the bed, running her hand through the curly hair.

“He looks so weak” her eyes filled with tears and Pietro stepped forward gently.

“He just needs to recover, he’ll be back up and running in no time, right Steve?” the question was meant as casual, but the agent could hear the hesitance in the boy’s eyes. He smiled as reassuringly as he could and the twins seemed to relax.

“He’s lookin’ good, just gunna take some time to get on his feet again.” Wanda let out a soft sob and curled around him, careful of the various tubes and wires as she gestured to the ventilator.

“I don’t like it, makes him look small” Steve swallowed thickly, he’d always seen Bucky as softer, strong but smaller. Someone to protect. He’d completely forgotten that the twins had met them in a group home when they were ten and Bucky was sixteen. Bucky was their protector, to them he was always larger than life. Pietro had on more than one occasion brought up how valiantly Bucky had always taken every hit Brock had delivered. To them he was invincible, Steve couldn’t imagine the damage seeing him like this was doing to him.

He remembered Maria’s hysterics on the phone, how she had become infuriated when Steve ha even mentioned the status of her apartment.

_“Fuck the apartment! What hospital are you at, I’m booking flights now!”_

Chevette had only just left, telling Bucky all the gossip at the Centre, and how the youth he worked with all wanted to come visit him, but she’d hold them off until he was awake.

_“Bucky you are so loved…”_

Pietro looked at him and murmured softly

“Have you eaten?” Steve wanted to lie, but the reality was for the past two days all he’d done was sit by Bucky’s side – first in the HAZMAT suit until he was completely clear, now in the same blood soaked, filthy clothes from when everything went down. He was sure he stunk, his stomach hurt from hunger and he needed the washroom like no one’s business. He breathed heavily and rubbed his face.

“Haven’t done much of anything other than pray” a hand rested on his shoulder and he felt the tears piling up.

“Go shower, get some food, sleep for an hour and come back. We’ll stay with him. He won’t be alone” Steve shook his head

“If he wakes up-“

“We’ll call you and explain we dragged you out of here kicking and screaming” tears slid down his face and he doubled over.

“This is all my fault” Wanda looked over at the two men from where she was quietly speaking to Bucky’s unconscious form.

“No it’s not, he was in prison. You had no way of knowing”

“But my _job_ -“

“You did what you thought was right, what you thought would keep him safe. Did you make a mistake, yes. But we don’t blame you for it and he won’t either” there was a long stretch of silence and Steve looked down at the unyielding gazes.

“Go take care of you, so you can take care of him” Steve reluctantly staggered to his feet and shuffled over to the bed, the twins respectfully looking away as he leaned down, running a hand through the soft hair.

“Hey baby doll it’s me, Wanda and Pietro are here. They wanna spend some time alone with you so I’m going to go grab some lunch okay? I’ll be back before you even realize I’m gone, okay. I love you” he leaned down and pressed a tender kiss to his clammy forehead, letting his lips linger against the skin before reluctantly pulling away and wiping his eyes. He turned back to the twins and gave them a sad smile.

“Thank you”


	14. Chapter 14

Steve stood in the doorway of their brownstone and felt the oxygen pull from his body as he surveyed the home. This was the first time in the better part of two years he’d been in it alone.

Bucky’d redecorated when he moved in, Steve’s contemporary design was “too clinical” for Bucky, who preferred a home that looked “lived in”, changing out the metal and silver accents for warm woods and painting the walls something _“other that white Steve Jesus”_ the furniture had been replaced with oversized chairs and a sectional that was a favourite for the two of them for cuddling up to watch movies. Bucky’d been good with it though, keeping a perfect balance of both, afraid to overrun Steve’s space. He glanced around the room as another memory hit him.

 

_“So…?” Steve continued his tour of the brownstone as Bucky nervously followed behind, the teal-grey paint still staining his cheek from when he’d finished painting the downstairs bathroom that morning. He’d absolutely gone to town on the place once Steve had left for Venezuela. Each step into the home made Steve feel a little lighter, Bucky a hum of nervous energy behind him as he surveyed._

_“You did all this this weekend?”_

_“Uh huh, I did the downstairs bathroom last because it’s the smallest – and the one upstairs is done – it was really just painting and swapping out furniture. D-do you like it?” Steve turned back and took the nervous man in before throwing his arms up excitedly._

_“Baby doll you’ve outdone yourself! This is stunning!” Bucky glowed under his boyfriend’s excitement and grabbed his hand, nervous energy replaced with excitement as he pulled him towards the stairs._

_“Come on, the bedroom is my favourite!”…_

The silent house mocked him, the clean up crew had repainted all the walls white and they didn’t put the furniture back properly. Bucky’s reading chair would never get enough sun there, The TV was supposed to be angled towards the “L” of the sectional. There was supposed to be a basket of throw blankets at the corner because Bucky was _always_ cold. Steve sagged against the wall and wiped his eyes in frustration. It was all wrong.

He pointedly ignored the disarray of the kitchen as he fumbled along making some sandwiches and a protein shake. Gross, but it would mean he could take more time before needing to eat again. He scarfed the food down, the silence overwhelming in the absence of Bucky’s chatter and headed up to the washroom where he (finally) relieved himself and showered. When he finally entered the bedroom however, he stopped.

When Bucky’d redecorated, the king sized wrought iron bed sat against the bare brick wall, a large oak wardrobe and dresser across from it and one of Steve’s leather recliners in the corner by the windows. They never spent a whole lot of time in there, so it didn’t need to be extravagant. But Steve had loved it, the warm wood windows and hardwood floor coming to life in the absence of the cold metal, and Bucky’d repainted the grey walls an off-white with a pale yellow accent wall. It wasn’t much, but you could see why he loved it.

The walls were white, the dresser had been damaged so it and the wardrobe were both covered in drop sheets until the replacements came in (how Bucky’d managed to acquire handmade Tudor wardrobes he’d never know) and the bed’s replaced mattress wasn’t a pillowtop, which sounded petty until you realized that they’d specifically gotten the pillowtop for Steve’s back injuries from his time in Afghanistan.

He stood there for a moment before turning on his heel and walking back downstairs, curling up on the sectional and pulling Bucky’s maroon throw blanket around him tightly. He forced himself to sleep, knowing he had a lot to do once he woke up.

* * *

 

“Current Listing is for $4,200.00” Steve glanced around at the Greenwich unit. He’d have to raise the light fixtures, seeing as he and Bucky were 6’4” and 6’0” respectively. But that would be an easy fix. The colour scheme of the brownstone was very similar to the one Bucky’d picked for their home in Brooklyn.

“Utilities included?” The real estate agent nodded

“Hydro and Electric yes, cable, Wi-Fi are in addition to” Steve nodded and surveyed the bedroom. It didn’t have the same classic elegance as the Brooklyn brownstones did, rather the typical bohemian air only found in Greenwich Village. The walls were a pale yellow and white, but with the slightly redder floor it complimented well and the open concept and huge windows were always something that allured Bucky. He looked at the agent then down at his watch. He needed to get back to Bucky.

Steve turned to the agent and smiled

“I’ll take it”.

* * *

 

Steve was snoozing lightly when Bucky began convulsing, alarms going off. Steve snapped awake and looked around the room in terror.

“Bucky? Easy baby doll, hold on! I’m gunna go – _somebody help!_ ” Bucky continued to jerk as the doctor and nurse ran in. The two assessed the situation and the nurse sent a reassuring smile and gently moved to the other side of the bed.

“No need to worry Mr. Rogers, Mr. Barnes is attempting to breathe on his own and the ventilator is in the way. We’ll remove it in a jiffy” Steve nodded and watched diligently as the two slowly removed the tube.

“There, much better.” Steve deflated in relief and gently stepped up, taking the lip chap offered to him by the nurse to gently moisturize Bucky’s chapped lips. He smiled reassuringly and looked down at the soft features.

“Hey baby, you’re doing amazing. Breathing on your own, I am so proud of you” he gently grabbed his hand and kissed his knuckles.

“M’gunna fix everything Buck, we’re gunna start over, you and me okay?” he pressed another tender kiss to his forehead and eased himself back down in the chair. Maria was supposed to get there at eight, giving him two hours to start moving everything.

The first day Steve took his two hours away from the hospital completely pack up the apartment. Luckily Sam and Clint were conveniently on vacation and able to assist, so he was able to get everything packed and loaded into the moving truck and sent it to be dropped off in the Village before going back to the hospital.

When he got back Wanda immediately glowered at him, saying none too kindly, “you need to shave, you look like a hobo” Steve had sighed and scratched his beard, Bucky liked the five o’clock shadow Steve often rocked, but Wanda was right. Bucky would only worry if Steve looked as haggard as he felt, and that would do nothing to assist in his recovery.

The second day, Steve shaved and got a haircut and managed to unpack the kitchen and living room before heading back to the hospital – thanks to Pietro’s speed, seriously, he was like a blur with unpacking. When he returned to the hospital Wanda was looking at him with big excited eyes, and Steve resolutely ignored Fury and Natasha standing in the wings as she excitedly announced that Bucky’s scans had come back and he should be waking up soon. Steve dropped himself into his chair and gently grabbed his hand.

“Well hopefully you don’t keep us waiting much longer baby doll. Can’t wait to see those eyes again”

Steve didn’t leave the third day.

* * *

 

He had just finished hanging the last picture on the wall, Sam sprawled on the floor next to Cling.

“I’m just saying, this spy thing doesn’t work out, we’ve got a future in a moving company” Clint gave a wobbly thumbs-up and Steve smiled.

“Thanks guys, for everything. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I appreciate this” Sam waved dismissively and grabbed one of the beers he’d brought.

“Oh please, this is a way more fun work out than-“

_Buzz buzz_

Steve tripped over Sam as he lunged for his phone, body pulled tight like a string in concern as Sam and Clint both exchanged worried glances.

“Wanda! What’s wrong!?”

_“You need to get back here, now!”_

* * *

 

When Steve rushed onto the floor with Sam and Clint as his side twenty minutes later, his heart dropped to his knees at the sight of everyone in the hallway.

_Oh my God, he’s gone._

Tears were streaming down Wanda’s face and Natasha walked up.

“N-Nat?” She gave him a soft smile and rubbed his shoulder.

“We’re all gunna go, let you stay with him alone tonight” fear gripped Steve and he gaped at her

“Why?” Wanda let out a relieved sob and Steve blinked in confusion. Bruce stepped forward and smiled.

“He should be waking up in a few hours” Steve gasped and tossed his head, hand coming over his mouth in disbelief at the scientist’s words.

“We figure you two have a lot to talk about, so you give us a call when we can come back okay?” Steve barely managed a nod before he was barreling into the room.

Steve was nodding off, he’d been sitting there religiously holding vigil over Bucky for six hours, waiting for him to wake up when he heard the shuffle. His head snapped up and he watched with bated breath as Bucky breathed deeply, wiggling around in the bed. Steve’s eyes filled with tears and he pulled his chair right up against the bed, standing and slightly bending over Bucky, giving him space but staying close.

“Hey… Hey Bucky can you here me?” Bucky’s brow furrowed and he let out a soft coo and Steve wiped his tears away as he gently grabbed Bucky’s hand in his.

“That’s it baby doll, come on, c’mon back to me. I love you, I love you Bucky Barnes” Bucky let out one long sigh and his eyes fluttered open. Steve’s face broke into a smile as Bucky’s eyes rolled, slowly coming to focus as he looked around the room before landing on Steve’s face.

“Steve?...”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an FYI, in my head Chevette looks like Della Reese, who was a beautiful soul whom I have always loved and always will love!

“Steve?...” Bucky’s eyes were half-lidded as he slowly focused on his boyfriend’s face. Steve let out a relieved laugh as he began crying softly.

Finally, after a month of his life being in absolute turmoil and a week of it in complete standstill, Steve could feel his world slowly start turning again at two-thirty in the morning.

“Yeah, _yeah_ baby doll, it’s me, it’s Steve. You’re okay, you’re safe now” Bucky’s lips twitched up minutely and Steve slowly sank back into his chair.

“Y’here” Steve sniffed and wiped his eyes

“Yeah Buck, I’m here, m’right here” Bucky shifted in discomfort and Steve stood again

“D’you need anything? Water, something for the pain?” Bucky shook his head and rested back against the pillows as Steve began to gently stroke his hair with the back of his hand.

“M’just stiff” Steve smiled and moved his other hand to lace fingers with Bucky’s. Bucky gave a lethargic squeeze and Steve clung to it.

“Feel so weak Steve”

“I know baby doll, it’s been a rough week, you’ve been fightin’ like Hell. You just rest now okay?” Bucky blinked slowly.

“Will’oo stay?” Steve nodded vigorously and pressed their joined hands to his lips, kissing his hands with the same fervor one reserves for prayer.

“Of course, I won’t leave your side for a minute baby, I’ll stay right here” Bucky inhaled deeply again and winced softly, his abused lungs straining.

“Want you t’hold me” the words were slurred and Steve suddenly flashed back to that cold warehouse floor.

_“H-hold my h-h-hand”_

Steve nodded and Bucky sighed as Steve helped him roll onto his side, his body crying out in relief and being positioned other than on his back as Steve kicked off his shoes, climbing onto the bed behind him and tenderly spooning him. Bucky laced their fingers together sleepily and relaxed into the blonde’s hold.

“Better?”

“Be’er” Steve pressed kisses all along the back of his head and allowed the tears to slide down his face.

“I love you so much Buck. Things are gunna be different now, I promise” Bucky hummed a response but was already slipping back under.

“I promise I’ll be right here when you wake up” Steve closed his eyes and finally managed to fall asleep.

* * *

 

“Bucky!” the brunette smiled gently as Wanda rushed into the room, tears streaming down her face as she threw her arms around him. He made a soft “oof” at the impact of her small frame but made no attempt at moving her, kissing the top of her head and muttering softly in Russian as she cried. Pietro maintained his calm exterior for a total of 2.5 seconds before he was rushing Bucky’s other side, who already had his left arm waiting for him.

“You can’t _do_ that! You can’t _die_ and leave us here!” Steve and the others in the room stepped away respectfully and silently watched the three foster children embrace.

“I know, m’sorry, s’not gunna happen again” Pietro nodded into his shoulder, Wanda setting a hand on her twin’s back as he sobbed.

“S’okay little brother, m’not goin’ anywhere okay? S’all over now, right Steve?” Steve had never seen Bucky take point in serious situations, but suddenly Pietro’s undying belief in his invincibility made sense. Bucky looked terrifying as he trained his slate eyes on Steve, conviction in his voice and slight accent from slipping back and forth into Russian, like an assassin. He cleared his throat and nodded.

“It’s done, and it’ll _never_ happen again, I’ll be solidifying that this afternoon once Maria and Chevette get here” Bucky’s eyes softened but he still looked at his lover warily as he turned back to the siblings.

“s’all right now, sheesh, you’re going to drown me if you keep crying” the two let out watery laughs, curling on either side of him as they continued to chatter wildly in a hybrid of Sokovian and Russian...

 

 

The twins were fast asleep on either side of Bucky as he chatted quietly with Maria and Chevette, each holding one of his hands. The doctor hadn’t been keen on so many people in the room, but Bucky wasn’t having it and Steve was all too happy to be the enforcer of Bucky’s desire to see everyone at once. This was his family.

Steve remembered the resounding _no_ Bucky had given when Sharon had asked if he wanted his parents notified, how tightly he’d gripped Steve’s hand as he’d shaken his head so violently he’d thrown up. Steve wasn’t too proud to admit he hadn’t been the friendliest to her following that, and he was grateful Natasha had started running interference.

He leaned over gently and placed a hand on his knee,

“Hey baby doll, m’just gunna pop out for a few hours okay? Call if you need me?” Bucky’s eyes lost their shine and he looked torn between grabbing at Steve and letting go of the women. Chevette saw the struggle and patted the top of Bucky’s hand with her wrinkled one.

“Don’t you worry none baby, Maria and I’ll will stay here until he gets back. He needs some food and a shower. You don’t want your man making the rest of us sick with his stink do you?” Bucky relaxed minutely but Steve knew the real reason why he was nervous.

“Natasha is guarding the door. No one’s getting in” Steve pulled a new phone out of his pocket and handed it to Bucky.

“Here, s’only got my number in it so far, but you need anything – or you just want me to come back, you call and I’ll be here in five okay?” Bucky took the phone from him and gently tugged on the sleeve of his blue jacket, Steve gracelessly moving to pace his hands between the twins’ heads and Bucky’s as he kissed him gently.

“Gimme two hours baby doll. I’ll even set a timer” Bucky pressed his forehead to Steve’s and sighed softly.

“Be quick”

* * *

 

Steve looked at the finished apartment and grinned as there was a knock at the door. He opened it and smiled almost widely at the delivery man and the _MMS Piano Movers_ painted on the truck behind him.

“Are you Steve Rogers?”

“Yes I am gentlemen, please, come on in”.

* * *

 

Clint looked up nervously as Steve stormed into the bullpen. He looked positively terrifying. Sam called out playfully, trying to diffuse some of the rage before he hit Fury’s office.

“Hey there Captain America! Where’s the injustice!?” Steve didn’t laugh at the playfully nickname his strong moral compass had earned him over the years, his lip didn’t even twitch. Sam and Clint both swallowed nervously as Steve flung the door to the office open.

“What do you mean _no_!?”…

Nick Fury sat quietly at his desk as his top agent roared through his office, pacing and fuming and swearing a blue streak with words Fury didn’t even know he knew. Internal Affairs Director, and arguably the biggest supporter of Steve’s work, Phil Coulson, also appeared unmoved.

“I have done more for this agency, _more for this country_ , than anyone else here! Including both of you! And you’re answer is _you don’t qualify_!?” Coulson took a deep breath.

“Agent Rogers, you’re thirty-one years old. Even if we wanted to grant you early retirement, you’d need to be at least fifty” Steve’s blue eyes turned icy and he advanced on the older man menacingly.

“Alright Rogers, that’s enough” Steve snapped back to his boss and let out a low snarl. Nick raised an eyebrow, completely unfazed.

“Best I can do is a desk job, consulting part time. No field work, your name is never in the reports-“

“Even then we’re stretching the rules” Steve chewed the inside of his cheek, that pension was insane, and this was a good deal. He wasn’t going to win this argument.

_“S’all over now, right Steve?”_ Steve sighed heavily and picked up an empty file box from the stack in the corner of Fury’s office.

“No deal. I’m sorry sir, I’m afraid I must give you my resignation effective immediately.” Coulson gasped

“Agent Rogers-“

“It has been an honour serving my country, and a pleasure working for this department and with the gifted agents in it. Sam will be done shadowing and need a case worker of his own, and Natasha and Clint make a good team. I highly recommend Agent Wilson for field work with Scott Lang as his case worker” he pulled his badge from his inside pocket and removed his sig from it’s holstered place against his lower back.

“Please send a representative to the hospital with the waivers and forms I will need to sign, I’ll pack up my desk now”

“Steve!-“ Steve walked out the door, the entire office now frozen as they watched their top agent begin unceremoniously clearing out his desk.


	16. Chapter 16

Steve rested his chin on top of Bucky’s head as he looked out the window at the New York skyline. He had no job, and no plan.

But he had Bucky.

The aforementioned younger man was curled into his chest, gently picking at Steve’s cotton t-shirt as he breathed deeply, the constant hiss of his cannula the only sound in the room.

Bucky breathed deeply and softly spoke

“We need to talk Steve” he pressed his lips to Bucky’s forehead

“I know, go ahead” Bucky pulled back and looked at him warily

“Start at the beginning” Steve sighed heavily and moved so they were laying face to face. He gently cradled the back of Bucky’s head with one hand as he stroked just behind his ear with his thumb

“After I was back from my deployment in Afghanistan, I was approached by Nicholas Fury, the director of a top secret branch of the CIA known as SHIELD, the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division. We’re brought in for the stuff the CIA can’t handle, or the stuff that’s too high profile for them to handle-”

“Like killing that dictator” Steve closed his eyes, Bucky’s tone wasn’t accusing, but Bucky knew the difference between killing someone in Active Combat, and blasting someone’s head off in downtown Dubai from a hotel room over a kilometre away.

“Yeah, like that” Bucky nodded and gave him a look, encouraging him to continue.

“They wanted me for my tactical skills”…

 

Bucky remained silent as Steve continued talking, face impassive as he continued talking. He explained all of it, the shutdown of HYDRA and it’s infiltration into SHIELD in 2014, how Pierce had sworn his revenge and was put in the States only Supermax prison. How Steve had used his considerable resources to get Brock arrested for his drug dealing after meeting Bucky.

He completely laid himself bare, four years of lying and keeping secrets exploding into the quiet of the hospital night. Bucky’s left arm slowly moved from it’s position holding his shirt to draping over Steve’s toned waist, shimmying closer until they were almost completely entwined.

Steve closed his eyes and a tear slid down his face as he finished

“So the call you got in San Francisco…?”

“It was about Pierce, they wanted us to come in so you could be relocated” Bucky nodded his head and the guilt that had been raging within Steve finally let go.

“I should’ve just gone in. Fuck, I should’ve just brought you home, kept you safe-“

“Are you done?” Steve looked at him and Bucky gave him a soft smile.

“M’glad we stayed, that was the best vacation I’ve ever had. I had you all to myself for a week in one of my favourite places in the country. I don’t regret it Steve, so you shouldn’t either” Steve nodded weakly and sniffed. Bucky looked at him for a minute and bit his lip.

“He’s gone though right?” Steve nodded

“I emptied my gun into him baby, he’s long gone. Brock’s dead too” a tear slid down Bucky’s face and Steve felt all the tension fall out of his body.

“They’ll never hurt you again baby doll. No one is ever going to hurt you again” Bucky nodded and pressed a kiss to Steve’s collar.

“Steve?” he nuzzled his nose into the soft brown hair and whispered gently

“Yeah?”

“It wasn’t all a lie though, right?” _we weren’t a lie, right Steve?_ Steve pulled him impossibly close and gently tilted his chin up.

“No, no it wasn’t all a lie.” Bucky’s eyes shone and he gave a watery smile as Steve pulled him in for a passionate kiss.

* * *

 

“Steve Rogers?” Steve stood quickly, dressed in his best suit as he walked into the office.

“So, says here you’re military? No degree?” Steve shifted nervously and cleared his throat, feeling incredibly small despite his size as he tightly held the manila folder in his hand.

“No sir, I was accepted into the Pratt Institute for their Visual Arts, but I was called to serve and just never had the opportunity to return”

“And you have no experience teaching?”

“I’ve taught several defense classes, and tutored in Art, English and History in high school, other than that, no” The interviewer hummed in disappointment and scribbled on his sheet.

“Did you at least bring samples of your work?” Steve jolted and handed the folder over quickly

“Yes sir, they’re chronological from oldest to newest and using different mediums” the interviewer’s eyebrows skyrocketed and he glanced at him before snatching two sheets of paper and a pencil.

“Here, sketch something for me and walk me through it as though you were giving a tutorial. I’ll give you a minute to think about what you’re going to draw” Steve snatched up the pencil and reached across the desk for the smudger and charcoal.

“No need sir, is a portrait okay?” the man nodded and Steve got to work. Bucky’s soft features dancing in his mind.

* * *

 

Steve practically skipped into the hospital room. Bucky smiling up at him as he planted a kiss on between his eyes.

“Well, hi to you too” Steve looked at him and grinned

“I got a new job today” Bucky’s brow furrowed in confusion

“What?”

“I left the Agency, I was going to at the end of this year to take the FBI Director position”

“The one we were moving to Manhattan for that I didn’t know what it was”

“Yes, that one.” Bucky’s eyes became hesitant

“So, you’re with the FBI now?” Steve’s face softened and he shook his head.

“No baby doll, I’m done with that. I’m completely out, sealed my files and everything” Bucky gaped at him in complete shock but Steve wasn’t done.

“Got a position teaching grade nine art at Harvest Collegiate in Greenwich Village”

“Y-you’re teaching? At a high school?” he nodded and Bucky grinned

“I’ll be gone from 7am to 3pm Monday to Friday and nothing weekends” Bucky stared in disbelief, subconsciously grabbing his lover’s hand.

“So no more secrets?”

“No more secrets”

“No more crazy hours and weird business trips?”

“None” he gently squeezed Bucky’s hand reassuringly and smiled at him.

“S’gunna be just you and me baby doll” a tear slid down Bucky’s face and he inhaled sharply through the cannula. Steve felt a bittersweet ache in his chest, only just recently beginning to understand just how hard the relationship had been on Bucky for the past four years.

“You’re gunna be so sick o’me Barnes” Bucky shook his head as he lit up like the sun. He pulled Steve in and threw his arms around his neck, kissing him soundly.

“I love you so much, my boyfriend the teacher” Steve laughed against his lips and propped a knee up on the bed for balance.

“Love you too baby doll” Bucky pulled away and quirked the corner of is lips up as he stroked Steve’s arm.

“S’a long way from Brooklyn though. Long commute” Steve shook his head.

“You're right, but it's a four minute walk from our new place” Bucky’s eyes snapped up to his.

“ _Our new place_?” Steve nodded

“Yeah baby doll, our new place. Been setting it up for when you get home” Bucky curled around the edge of the bed and held his hand

“M’so excited” he was drifting off to sleep again, so Steve pitched his voice low and ran a hand through his hair.

“You’re gunna love it baby doll, it’s got big windows, and it’s nice an open, no tiny rooms or doors you can close...”

Bucky drifted off to sleep with a peaceful smile on his face, still holding Steve’s hand tightly.

* * *

 

Steve watched with eagle eyes as the nurse helped Bucky into the wheelchair. Logically, Steve knew how frail Bucky was, after everything.

It didn’t make it any easier to see the sweatpants and t-shirt he’d brought him from home hanging from his body like oversized rags.

Pietro was waiting outside with Wanda and the car, and Sam was providing an escort just in case. Steve grabbed the handles and popped it in a wheelie as he spun it towards the exit. Bucky letting out a breathless laugh as he wheeled him out to the car. Steve lifted him up into his arms and set him into the backseat, sliding in beside him and pulling him into his side as Pietro pulled away.

After three weeks, one in intensive care, Bucky was finally going home.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted something more fluffy because the angst has been strong in this one. Also light smut because why not?

 It was after eight by the time Pietro pulled up outside the brownstone, Bucky fast asleep against him. Neither Maximoff made a move to exit the vehicle as Steve slid out, throwing the bag of Bucky’s medications over his shoulder as he scooped him up bride style.

“Steve?”

“S’me baby, we’re home” Bucky pressed his face into Steve’s neck and hummed as Steve carried him through the door, kicking it shut and slowly moving up the stairs towards the bedroom.

“Wanna show’r, smell li’hospital” Steve gently changed course to the other bathroom.

“You gunna stand for me?” Bucky nodded and slowly put his feet down, hissing at the cold tile. Steve wrapped a protective arm around him and turned the head on, waiting until it was just his side of too hot before guiding Bucky’s hand under the spray.

“Good?” Bucky hummed happily and sluggishly pulled away from Steve, only to be hit by a dizzy spell and falling back onto the toilet seat. His eyes welled in frustration and Steve sighed, of course Bucky figured he’d be right back at one hundred percent the moment he got home. He gently knelt down in front of him and smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

“All right baby doll, let’s strip ya, y’know how much I like you naked” Bucky laughed weakly and moved with Steve as he stripped him. Steve thanking God for his training so he didn’t gasp at just how pale and thin Bucky’d become.

“I think I can count my ribs” he murmured and Steve gently pressed his lips to Bucky’s nose.

“S’okay, you’re here to count them. I’ll just have to order some of those dick cookies you like so much” Bucky smirked and rolled his eyes as Steve helped him stand. The two naked men now moving to the shower.

“Do love me some dick” Steve snorted

“Shut up Barnes”

“With rainbow pubes” Steve kissed him playfully to shut him up and he laughed sleepily as he looked up at him. He glanced at Steve’s face and smiled softly.

“Love you Steve” Steve kissed him again softly and pulled him into his arms, gently washing his back

“Love you too Buck” Bucky smiled and looped his arms around Steve’s neck, allowing Steve to take his weight as they stood together under the spray.

* * *

 

The two curled up in bed naked, Bucky’s back pressed against his chest as Bucky played with their fingers, Steve continuously pressing kisses to his shoulder. Bucky rolled over and looked up at him.

“Hey…”

“Hey” he whispered back and Bucky sighed softly and tangled his fingers into Steve’s hair, pulling him down for a passionate kiss. Steve tried to slow him down and Bucky whimpered.

“Please…” Steve sighed heavily through his nose and relaxed back into the kiss, running his hand down Bucky’s bare side. He moved and began pressing kisses down Bucky’s neck, the brunette pressing his head back against the pillows and moaning low in his throat.

“S-Steve…” Steve pulled back and pressed their foreheads together.

“Don’t wanna hurt you” Bucky hummed and framed his face.

“You’d never hurt me, wanna feel you” he pulled Steve back into a kiss and he sighed, gently positioning his weight into the V of Bucky’s legs. Bucky immediately ground up against him and they both moaned at the friction.

“M’not glass Stevie, please. I need this, need _you_ ” Steve felt his control snap and he immediately fumbled for the new package of lube on the night stand…

 

Bucky buried his face into Steve's shoulder as he continued to thrust gently into his body. He gasped and sucked gently on the blonde's neck "Steve… fuck, please harder" Steve groaned and snapped his hips more rapidly, trying to be as gentle as possible while still giving Bucky what he needed, what they both needed.

"That's it, just like that… oh god Steve"

"Bucky, baby love you so much, god so fucking good" the head of Steve's cock slammed into Bucky's prostate, making him cry out in passion, he clenched his walls tightly around him and arched up. Steve snuck his other hand down and began to gently fondle his balls, Bucky dug his fingers into Steve's shoulders as he rocked his body up to meet his urgently.

"C'mon baby doll, let it go, just come for me baby, c'mon" Bucky threw his head back and slammed his eyes shut, screaming Steve's name as he came hard. He felt Steve empty his load into his body and sighed as they fell back on the bed. Steve pressed a kiss to his shoulder and rolled next to him, pulling him into his arms as they caught their breath. Bucky cuddled into his chest and wrapped his arms around him. The two lay quietly, hands playing together as they looked at each other in the moonlight.

“M’so grateful you’re still here” Steve’s eyes welled with tears and Bucky smiled tenderly.

“Me too”

“Thought I lost you” Bucky pressed their foreheads together and nuzzled his nose with his.

“How could I leave? You made me promise to marry you” Steve’s eyes went wide and Bucky smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips before snuggling into the broad chest and falling asleep. Steve laying speechless next to him.

* * *

 

Bucky was laying on the sectional reading as Steve made lunch. He sighed heavily and grabbed the remote, turning on a movie as he was too weak to hold the book.

“I hate this” Steve set the sandwiches on the coffee table and propped Bucky up to slide back in behind him, leaning him back down against his chest.

“Take it easy baby doll, you’ve been home a week” Bucky grumbled and eyed the beautiful grand piano in the other room. He’d lost his mind when he’d seen it, staring at Steve with huge eyes and collapsing onto the bench when Steve replied. _“Yeah baby doll, it’s yours”._ He wanted to play so badly, but was still so weak that moving from the bedroom down to the living room without Steve’s assistance was all but impossible.

Bucky grabbed a fistful of his shirt, turning back to the movie and sniffed as tears of frustration leaked from his eyes.

“Don’t like feeling so weak Stevie” Steve pressed his lips to the top of his head and hummed

“I know Buck, but you’re doing so well baby, I know it doesn’t feel like it right now. But if you’d seen-“ Steve cleared his throat and looked away, tears stinging his eyes as the picture of Bucky convulsing on the floor played behind his eyelids. Bucky watched him with furrowed brows.

“Just be easier on yourself, you have no idea how far you’ve come okay?” Bucky nodded and pulled Steve down to lay behind him on the couch. Snatching up the remote again.

“Find something funny” Steve wrapped an arm around his waist and flipped channels until he found-

_“Is that Spaceballs!?”_ Steve snorted as he pulled the throw blanket tighter around them, Bucky pressing against them and watching the movie with wide eyes.

“How do you even like this movie”

“Because _Steven,_ it’s funny” Steve rolled his eyes and set the remote down, sending up what had to be his millionth prayer that day that he still got to do this. That he still got to hold Bucky, make love to him, feel the rise and fall of his chest and the steady thump of his heartbeat.

Bucky’s eyelids began to droop and he nudged Steve.

“If I fall asleep, wake me when the movie’s over, don’t wanna sleep the day away again” Steve nodded and gave him a lethargic squeeze

“Yes sir”...

 

When Wanda showed up four hours later to drop off groceries, both were fast asleep on the couch, curled around each other while infomercials played on the screen. She silently put everything away, snapped a picture and crept out again. Completely unnoticed.


	18. Chapter 18

“And deep breath in… hold… and out” Steve crossed his arms and watched as Bruce checked Bucky’s lungs. Bucky smiled softly as Bruce stepped away.

“You sound great Mr. Barnes, I am amazed at your recovery” Steve felt himself swell with pride as Bucky shrugged bashfully. He glanced up at Steve and he smiled encouragingly at the younger man as Bruce turned back to his papers.

“Let me just go grab the blood test results and we should be all set” he resolutely did not look at Steve as he exited. Bucky watched the exchange as he swung his legs on the bench.

“They’re all pissed at you” Steve sighed and nodded.

“Yeah, they didn’t take too well to me just up and quitting like that. I kinda left them hung out to dry” Steve shot him a rueful smile and Bucky swallowed thickly.

“Could you go back? If you wanted?” Steve shrugged noncommittally

“I mean, probably, they’d be petty about it sure, but at the risk of sounding arrogant I’m one of the best they’ve got” Bucky hummed and braced his hands on either side of him, biting his lip as he looked down at his shoes.

"Steven?" he glanced up at his full name "if you wanna go back, work for them or the FBI or something, I'll understand" Steve felt his heart swell and studied Bucky’s features. He may have his brace face on, but Steve could see how much that statement had hurt, how much he wanted to take it back.

Steve pushed off the wall and moved to stand between Bucky's legs, cupping his cheeks and smiling gently

"Bucky, baby doll look at me" he rested his forehead against his boyfriend's and looked into his eyes

"There is no way in all hell that I am going to risk losing you again, I’m not going back because _I_ don’t want to go back" Bucky nodded softly, lips turning in a quiet smile and Steve kissed him deeply.

“Okay” the doorknob turned and Steve stepped back slightly as Bruce walked back in.

“So, everything is coming back okay, there’s still a few cell levels I’m not happy with, but considering you’re only a month into recovery I have to tell you-“ Bruce took off his glasses and stared at the younger man.

“Your ability to heal positively amazes me Mr. Barnes, have you always been this resilient?” Bucky looked at him nervously, as though being healthy was a bad thing.

“I don’t get sick often, I never have really. Other than that there’s really nothing spectacular about me” Bruce shook his head and looked back at the file.

“I’d disagree” Bucky smiled softly and his eyes snapped to Steve’s as he murmured softly from behind.

“Me too”

* * *

 

“Surprise!” Steve jumped as he walked through the door, still in his running clothes as his friends and neighbours yelled out and jumped out of various places in the apartment “happy birthday!” Bucky came out through the crowd laughing excitedly as he beamed.

“Oh good, start a party while I’m all sweaty and gross” Bucky threw his arms around him and kissed him gently as Clint put on the stereo, Sam pulling drinks out of the fridge. He showered quickly and came back to sit next to Bucky, cracking open a beer as he settled in with his friends…

 

Steve watched as Bucky slowly moved around the backyard, still visibly healing and looking just this side of exhausted as he chatted with friends. He wasn’t at all surprised Bucky’d thrown him the surprise party, he’d been chomping at the bit to be doing something since he’d gotten home, still too weak to work and perform. Steve remembered a very impressive meltdown when Bucky’d been unable to open the jar of pickles because his muscles just weren’t ready to cooperate enough for the task. It had left him with shaking arms and a whole lot of pent up anger – which Steve had obliviously walked into when he opened the jar like it was nothing. Steve had just stood there and let Bucky scream at him until he calmed down, he’d gone up to bed and Steve had set the jar down, slowly following until he got to their bedroom door. Feeling completely helpless as Bucky’d sobbed on the other side.

But now he was in his element, hugging and laughing and always having a drink in hand in case somebody needed one. Steve knew he was going to crash hard later but said nothing, merely reclining back on the patio loveseat and winking when Bucky caught his eye. The brunette smiled and made his way over, all but collapsing into the seat next to him. Steve pressed his lips to his hairline and smiled.

“Fireworks are gunna start soon” Bucky nodded as he swung his legs across Steve’s lap, and stealing a sip of Steve’s beer.

“You excited? Fireworks for your birthday, s’like you’re famous” Steve snorted and watched as their friends all piled around in the yard to watch the sky, amazingly enough the brownstone had an amazing view with little tree obstruction in the back so they could easily see the fireworks in the nearby park. Steve snickered and draped his arm around Bucky’s shoulders loosely as the first set went off. Tony and Pepper’s adopted son Peter going crazy, along with Shuri, the little sister of Bucky’s rehab specialist T’Challa. Bucky watched the kids’ faces light up and smiled brightly, Steve turned away from the fireworks and watched as Bucky’s face tilted up to the sky. He shot a quick glance at Steve and slapped his chest.

“Steve, you’re missing it!” he turned back to the sky and Steve watched the colours dance across his face. He wasn’t missing anything. He gently leaned forward and cupped the side of Bucky’s face, turning him back around as he murmured gently.

“C’mere…” Bucky giggled and allowed himself to be pulled in, kissing him chastely.

“Happy birthday Stevie”.

* * *

 

“Thanks for coming, have a good night guys” Steve closed the door and walked into the tiny kitchen where Bucky had started cleaning up. He slid up behind his and wrapped his arms around his waist, kissing his shoulder as he washed the dishes. Clearly dead on his feet.

“C’mon baby doll, leave it tonight, everyone’s gone now” he smiled and turned, drying off his hands and scurrying out of the room.

“Good, now you can have my gift!” he ran back in with a small black case and he looked at his in confusion. “happy birthday baby” he smiled at him excitedly as he opened the case, revealing –

“Is this a Rolex?!” he nodded excitedly as he bit his lip. He looked at it and felt his heart swell, wordlessly staring down at the watch, willing himself to swallow the lump in his throat at the gesture.

“…I mean, I have the receipt if you don’t like it, I’m sure you could get a store credit or something, I know it’s not the fanciest…” Steve looked up and realized that he had been silent far too long. Bucky was nervously rambling, bright eyes now clouded in uncertainty. The watch itself was incredibly simple, part of the vintage collection with a plain face and dark leather band. It was one of the cheaper ones probably only worth about a grand. He set the watch down on the counter and cupped his face in his hands, kissing his slowly.

“Thank you” he murmured against his lips, sliding his hands into his hair as Bucky began to smile, resting his hands on his chest.

“It’s perfect, I love it”. He slowly pinned him against the island feeling the brunette melt against him. He knew he must’ve been saving for it for months.

“Did you have a good birthday?” he grinned and pulled him in for a hug, kissing the juncture of his neck and shoulder, swaying lightly. Savoring the moment with more gratitude than he could muster, he could’ve easily spent it alone. Bucky six feet under. Tears stung his eyes and he tightened his hold on the slimmer man.

“I had an amazing birthday” he pulled back and kissed his again, “you know what would make it even better?”

“Birthday sex?”

“Birthday sex” Bucky laughed and grabbed his hands, leading him towards the staircase.


	19. Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> Just want to clear some things up.

Hi everyone!

Thank you so much for all your comments and kudos! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story!

That being said. I have repeatedly recieved comments from people which have deeply hurt me and I wanted to take an opportunity to clear it up.

If anyone has read my other fic "Would you Rather" you are aware that I am currently in the process of relocating to another part of my country. As a result, many of my chapters haslve been written via cellphone because I like getting the words down as soon as possible.

Obviously this means that I am not editing as well as I would like and there are more spelling and grammatical errors than I like.

These will be edited and fixed as soon as I have some free time. Furthermore, English is actually my third language. So personally I think I'm doing fairly well all things considered.

I love the critiques and comments as I firmly believe they help me improve my writing. However, I do not appreciate being called names, having my intelligence or literacy levels insulted based on a few areas that don't flow as smoothly as I would like.

I really enjoy writing these fics and it took me alot of courage to be able to finally convince myself to post them. To those of you who have sent me such wonderful comments, constructive feedback etc. On both my account here and my tumblr. Thank you so much and please keep doing so.

All I ask is that the negative and mean comments stop. I won't write anymore or post anymore when people decide to attack my abilities or work simply because they don't like it.

For every one positive comment, I have to delete two negative ones, and this is incredibly hurtful as I believe that this is a supportive and accepting platform for everyone to post their creative works without fear of judgment.

I know this was really heavy and for that I apologize. It's just hard to wake up in the morning and see a string of emails from the site when it's insult after insult. Yes, I know what and editor is, I have an editor. They just aren't available right now and once again I am posting from my cellphone - please stop asking.

Once I finish this work I will be going on haitus to edit the works currently posted and focus on settling in and my education. Hopefully I will be able to start posting again later in this term.

Please don't be upset, I don't mean this as an attack in any way shape or form. I just know that if one of you were feeling uncomfortable with something that was said or posted, I would want you to feel comfortable enough telling me❤️

On a lighter note, some caveats to address concerns which were not as clear as I would have liked (thank you to those of you who messaged me to clarify these things, I appreciate you very much!!):

1\. When in doubt, always assume there has been some prep/lube in my smut scenes. I don't always mention it. But know that it is there even if I forget because dry sex is not a thing and never should be a thing.

2\. Yes, Steve made the decision to move without consulting Bucky. However, for this story I have chosen to view this as implied consent, as earlier Bucky did agree to move to Manhattan with Steve. It had nothing to do with the teaching position and almost entirely to do with Steve needing to get Bucky away from Brooklyn so he could heal better without the PTSD impact of seeing the same areas over and over again, like his house and Maria's apartment. Mostly because a main reason for my current move is for this exact reason.

3\. Bucky's surgeries were to help remove the fluid and infected tissue and cells in his body from the virus. Such as draining his lungs and chest cavity, removing ulcers, repairing his trachea, etc. As he would have needed surgical intervention in order to survive.

4\. I know I said I was inspired by different spy movies. This isn't based off of any particular one, I just like their plotlines so it's really a mishmash.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I appreciate and love you all very much and I hope you continue to enjoy this work and eventually enjoy my others as well.

Much love my darlings!  
TLK


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to thank everyone for all their support after my note yesterday. Your support means so much to me and I'm so grateful for your understanding.
> 
> Now let's move on with the Happy Ending in Angst with a Happy Ending!!! <3

“Okay guys, that’s it, thank you so much! Have a great weekend!” Steve glowed as he watched Bucky wrap up his first yoga class in six months. He recognized a few from back in Brooklyn and felt his heart swell at the thought that so many of them had stayed with his class and made the commute in, especially now with the snow beginning to pile up.

Once everyone had filed out of the rec centre and Bucky was no longer being hugged and thanked and _I’m so glad your back’d_ he finally spotted Steve standing by the exit. He smirked and bent over to roll up his mat, pointedly giving the blonde a view of his backside in his pants as he packed up.

“You’re a devil” Steve snorted and rolled his eyes, although he’d be the first to admit that he very much enjoyed the view. Bucky smirked and sauntered over to him, winking and cocking his head to the side.

“Don’t know what you’re talkin’ bout Stevie” Steve pinched his hip and handed him his scarf, eyes softening.

“S’cold out baby doll, cover your neck okay?” Bucky sighed and nodded his head, pulling on his gloves and hat as well.

“Feel like a kid in all these layers” Steve grabbed his bag and slid his arm around his waist as he guided him out to the street.

“I think it’s very _metro_ , very _eurochic_ ” Bucky rolled his eyes and gave a withering glance to his lover as they stepped out into the New York night.

“Is that even a word?” Steve shrugged and Bucky laughed, immediately erupting into hacking coughs as the cold winter air hit his lungs. Steve swallowed the crack in his chest as Bucky breathed his way through it.

“Sorry”

“Don’t be” Steve pulled him in close and rubbed his back, pressing his lips to his hairline.

“All good?” Bucky coughed gently again and nodded softly, tapping his chest before stepping away from him as they headed through Washington Square Park. Bucky looped his arm through Steve’s as they shuffled through the sea of Christmas lights. The city was starting to get busy again, Christmas shoppers and tourists beginning to fill the streets again. Bucky glanced up at the large tree and pursed his lips.

“Maria says that Brussels is really pretty at Christmas”

“Like Belgium?” Bucky nodded

“Yeah, she was contracted there a few years ago, apparently Grand Place is stunning.” Steve hummed and shook his head.

“Wow, I went into the wrong field” Bucky laughed and looked at him.

“We should go, you know, when I get my flight pass” Steve smiled and looked at him lovingly.

“We should” Bucky smiled excitedly and rested his head on his shoulder as they walked towards the Washington Square Arch.

“What are we having for dinner? I’m star-“

“Buck-“ Steve slowed to a stop directly under the arch and Bucky turned in concern, pulling away to stand in front of him as he searched his face.

“Steve? What’s wrong?” Bucky shot his head around assessing for a threat and Steve shook his head as he swallowed thickly.

“No baby doll, nothing's wrong; we’re safe” Bucky visibly deflated and Steve smiled.

“Well, what is it?” the concern shone in his eyes and Steve coughed nervously, inhaling deeply.

“Marry me” Bucky subconsciously stepped back in shock and Steve took the opportunity to fumble in the pocket of his black peacoat, pulling out a small black box.

“Bucky Barnes you are the single most energetic person I have ever met. You are always moving and overly excited and super friendly to everyone and you are the noise in the quiet of my mind,” Bucky cupped his hands over his mouth as his eyes filled with tears.

“You are so devoted to the young people you work with, you are an absolute gift to music and your soul is constantly on fire with the passion you have for life and this world-“ Steve sniffed as tears slid down his own face

“Every morning for the last four years whenever I wake up next to you I thank God that you’re here, and every night before we go to sleep I pray for one more day-“

_I just want five more minutes with you_

“I can’t imagine what it would be like to go through this life without you next to me anymore, and when I saw how much I could lose – baby I was _so scared_ –“

They were starting to attract attention, but for the first time in his life Steve found himself not caring about being noticed.

“I don’t want to be in a world that doesn’t have you in it. I thought I wanted a quiet, boring life but I don’t. I want one with piano gigs and yoga classes. Bali and San Francisco and _Space Balls_. I want to kiss you good morning and hear about your day when I get home and curl up around you every night and just feel you breathe next to me” Bucky’s tears were falling unabashedly down his face and Steve bit his lip, slowly getting on one knee.

“I don’t care if we’re in Brooklyn, Brussels or fucking _Bahrain_. I just wanna be with you, every day for the rest of my life. I’m so in love with you I physically ache, we’ve talked about it. We’ve made promises. But right here, right now, I’m going to ask you-“ Steve popped open the ring box and stared up at his boyfriend’s eyes, a quick laugh escaping the brunette as the light of the Christmas tree hit the intricate gold band.

“James Buchanan Barnes, will you marry me?” Bucky burst into excited laughter as he grinned, nodding his head vigorously as he fell to his knees in front of the older man.

“Yes, yes of course I will!” Bucky yanked off his glove and Steve slid the ring onto his finger before Bucky framed his face in his hands as he tearfully whispered

“You didn’t even need to ask, I already promised” Steve joined into the excited laughter and pressed a kiss to his palm.

“Let’s do this one the normal way, yeah?” Bucky sniffed and threw his arms around him.

“Yeah” he lunged onto Steve, kissing him passionately, causing him to fall back off his knees, one hand pressing into the small of Bucky’s back and the other cradling the back of his head. He could distantly hear people applauding and gently pulled away, noticing Bucky shivering.

“Let’s go home, okay?”

“Okay, but we’re ordering Thai” Steve barked out a laugh and pulled them both up, arms still wrapped tightly around him as they walked out of the park.

“Deal”.


	21. Epilogue

Mr. Rogers was the best thing that happened to Harvest Collegiate. He was popular with the staff, patient with the students and very talented in his field.

He was also a _fucking babe_.

The only flaw anyone could even remotely find on Steve was the smooth silver band adorning his left ring finger. Many young girls – and boys, had felt the sting of an ending fantasy when it caught the light of the sun through the studio windows. But no one was more excited than Mr. Roger’s twelfth grade contemporary art class when they found out they got to pain a mural on the Brooklyn Community Centre.

The students all obediently walked onto the bus, chatting with Mr. Rogers on the way over – some were discreetly snapping pictures of him clad in his grey t-shirt and acid wash jeans as he dropped his navy windbreaker onto the empty seat at the front. Swooning over the shoulder to waist ratio.

“I bet he picks his wife up like she’s nothing”

“Maybe they work out together?”

“Could you imagine? I bet he could totally just pick you up and pin you against the wall and go to _town”_ the group hushed up as Mr. Rogers walked down the narrow aisle, performing the head count before answering a question posed by one of the other students.

“I heard her name is Bucky?”

“Pfft. That’s not a name, it’s probably Becky – you heard wrong” Mr. Rogers suddenly clapped his hands at the front of the bus and everyone turned to look at him.

“Hey guys, I’m so excited for this project and I hope you all are as well-“ The bus gave an obnoxious cheer and he laughed

“Thanks again for getting up so early. The centre will have breakfast waiting for us and I promised Brooklyn deep-dish so that will be lunch – told you I wouldn’t forget Tyler” one boy in front let out a loud whoop and the class laughed.

“Please remember guys, on top of this being a great opportunity to work with amazing mediums and get more experience, this is an amazing opportunity to meet and interact with the youth there and teach them a thing or two about the art world – and you will probably make some new friends along the way, they are amazing kids, just like you”

“Aww Mr. Rogers, you’re making me blush”

“S’not too late for me to cancel that pizza order Tyler”

The class laughed again and the bus rumbled onto the busy street.

* * *

 

“Hello! My name is Chevette and I am the coordinator here. Welcome to the Brooklyn Community Pride Centre! If you’d like to follow me, I’ll take you to be introduced to your hosts for the day” the students followed her in with Mr. Rogers taking the rear as they walked into the large common room. There were about twenty kids between fifteen and twenty-one already seated and the students shuffled nervously, hesitant to move first.

Suddenly a boy with shocking green hair stood up and let out a laugh

“Steve!” the entire group of Collegiates turned as their teacher smiled broadly and waved.

“Hey guys! Could we make some room for my students please?” immediately there was shuffling and a chorus of teens slapping the seats next to them.

Once everyone was settled, Steve slowly made his way up to the front with Chevette and they turned back to the group.

“Okay guys, before we get started. We’ve got one more person who’s going to be helping us today and that is our Youth Coordinator, James Rogers-Barnes” the youth began cheering loudly as James walked onto the stage. He bounced with barely contained energy as he looked out at the mass of students and grinned.

“Hey guys, my name is Bucky and I am the youth coordinator here at the centre. We are so excited to have you guys here to teach us some of your amazing art skills and to cover up the less than tasteful graffiti currently decorating our walls.”

A shocked silence passed over the students as Bucky continued.

“There is not set plan for the mural, so please feel free to let your creativity run wild, while the main focus is the front wall, the entire building is up for grabs, all we ask is that it stays within our values of respect and inclusivity. Other than that, we’ll leave you alone to grab some breakfast, coffee and get to know each other a little before we get started.” Steve took the floor and looked out

“Any questions before we get started?” Tyler raised his hand from the back row and Steve groaned inwardly

“Yes, Tyler?”

“S’not really a question Mr. Rogers, but _Holy Shit_ your wife is actually your husband and he is a _babe_!” a roar of laughter erupted from the teens as Bucky’s jaw fell open. Steve was sure he was as red as a fire engine as Chevette tried to calm everyone down.

* * *

 

The mural was stunning. The images all flowing beautifully into one another, colours exploding brightly in some areas and fading of lightly in others. It had taken almost an extra hour just to pull the students away to get back on the bus, and Steve had to call the school to explain why the bus would be delayed. He finally managed to wrangle them back onto the bus with the promise that they would try to make the visits at least a monthly thing, for painting classes with the teens at the centre.

Steve turned back to Bucky and winked as he wrangled his own crew of teens back into the building.

“See you at home?”

“mmhmm, you still need to pack” Bucky groaned good naturedly and flipped a hand at him as he walked into the building. Steve climbed onto the bus and was met with thirty sets of eyes. Tyler hopped up from his seat and let out a loud drawl.

“So Mr. Rogers, about _Bucky_ …” Steve groaned and buried his face in his hands as his students erupted in excited laughter.

* * *

 

“ _Pin me against the wall and go to town_ huh?” Bucky snorted as Steve buried his face in his arms on the kitchen island.

“That was the _longest_ bus ride of my life” he turned his head to the side and watched as Bucky barked out a laugh from where he was putting away the dishes.

His golden skin was back, his hair once again healthy, soft and slightly curled in it’s naturally un-styled state. The dark bags under his eyes had all but vanished and aside from a barely there cough on cold days, you would almost forget that just over a year ago Bucky was convulsing on a floor in a Harlem warehouse.

Steve didn’t forget though, he never would.

He slid up from his seat and pressed himself against Bucky’s back, peppering kisses along his neck as the younger man moaned slowly. He slid his hands across Bucky’s stomach under his shirt and pressed his lips to his ear.

“We should try it, probably could you know. Just pick you up, bet the hallway would be perfect” Bucky’s knees buckled and he bit his lips and Steve dragged his mouth over his neck, pressing his hard on against his husband’s ass. Bucky blindly reached behind him and held Steve’s head to his neck as he panted.

“Y-yeah, let’s go” Steve sighed heavily and his kisses turned chaste.

“God, wish I could, but _someone_ hasn’t packed yet” Steve stepped away and Bucky let out a wounded yell

“Steve! Steve c’mon that’s not fair! You _can’t do that_!” Steve flopped onto the sofa around the chaos which was Bucky packing and raised an eyebrow as he picked up his book.

“No dick until you’re packed, that’s final” Bucky petulantly flopped onto the floor and began packing as though each article of clothing personally insulted him.

“Denying booty until I get my chores done, and Wanda thinks _I’m_ the wife” Steve roared and Bucky smiled up at him.

“But in all seriousness, how great is it that your birthday is in the summer and mine is during spring break?” Steve smiled warmly in agreement as Bucky went back to his packing. Steve’s suitcase neatly stacked next to the front door along with their passports.

“I know, s’just a bummer we won’t get to see Grand Place all lit up for Christmas” Bucky shrugged.

“Meh, I’m just happy getting to _see_ Grand Place” Bucky shoved the last of his stuff into the suitcase and dragged it over to the door next to his husband’s. Steve set the book down as Bucky lay on top of him, chests pressed together.

“Not gunna lie, I’m really digging this married thing” Steve rubbed his back and smiled.

“Me too baby doll” Bucky kissed him chastely and bit his bottom lip playfully.

“So about the wall sex?” Steve hummed a laugh and pulled him in for another kiss, savoring everything that was Bucky.

“I’m really tired, and we need to be up at three to make our flight. Let’s just cuddle” Bucky pinched his side but curled around him, turning on the BLURAY player to where he’d secretly already put in _Spaceballs_.

“Okay, we can just snuggle and watch-“

“Turn that shit off now!” Steve tickled his sides and the two wrestled back and forth until Steve flipped Bucky onto his back, caging him in as Bucky gasped for breath.

“Okay, okay, you win Stevie, I yield” Steve lowered himself onto his forearms and gently stroked Bucky’s hair back as he gazed down at him. Bucky hummed in contentment and leaned up to kiss him softly.

“I love you Steve Rogers” Steve pressed his forehead against Bucky’s and breathed him in, every thump of his heartbeat, every soft _whoosh_ of breath, every twitch his body made, consciously or not. Bucky wrapped his arms around him and lowered Steve into his chest, kissing his temple as Steve murmured into his ear.

“I love you James Rogers”.

* * *

 “I wouldn’t change anything you know” Steve looked down at the slate eyes and hummed in confusion. Bucky quirked his lips and stroked Steve’s hair as they laid curled around one another in bed, naked and sweaty from their lovemaking.

“I’d do it all again, if it meant I could still have you” Steve pressed a firm kiss between his eyes as he rolled onto his side, spooning Bucky up in front of him and pressing play as he laced the fingers together, wedding rings clinking.

Tomorrow the would rush off to Belgium for the week, celebrate Bucky’s birthday in Antwerp. Then they’d come home to a life of steady jobs, take-out on weekends, subway commutes and paper grading.

Maybe they’d get a dog. Maybe they’d move upstate for the white picket life altogether and adopt kids. Steve had no idea.

But right now, laying in bed with Bucky in his arms like millions of other couples all over the world. Steve realized that he didn’t care, he was exactly where he wanted to be, regardless of how he got there.

He quickly glanced up at the double frame on the nightstand, one holding their wedding photo from that summer, the other a silhouette of two men embraced on a ferry in the early morning light.

“Me either baby, roads all led me to you,” Bucky laughed softly and Steve felt him press in closer. He buried his face in hair and breathed deeply.

_Wanna spend my life with you._

“and I can’t wait to spend my life with you”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> I will be on haitus for probably the next month, other than editing works currently posted here.
> 
> If you have any stories that you would like, or ideas or prompts you would like me to try writing for you I would love to, I love suggestions.
> 
> Love you all!! Thanks so much stay amazing my darlings <3
> 
> TLK

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that this is NOT a Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby relationship. Steve is just older by a little bit and has the funds to spoil his bae.


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